Friday, April 29, 2005

Ah, the 13 year old me

Reid said in the last comment he made that he would have strangled the 13 year old me. Well let's see how we're similar (and different)

1. 13 year old me had really, really bad hair
(23 year old me has bad hair DAYS, but usually looks OK, except in times of rain, waking up, or any humidity whatsoever)

2. 13 year old me did NOT know how to dress.
(23 year old me has some concept, but no money, and still does not like trendy snowshoe boots and wears the same clothes she wore a few years ago, b/c it still looks cute and vintage.)

3. 13 year old me had no less than 3 crushes at one time.
(23 year old me has no less than 3 prospects when single. Otherwise, we go into I'm-looking-overdrive. Right now, though, I've only got two, both of which are shady/hazy.... especially since I've broken up with one of them three or more times.)

4. 13 year old me liked country music, Sheryl Crow, and FRIENDS
(do I need to say anything here?)

5. 13 year old me liked to be noticed
(duh)

6. 13 year old me wanted to talk on the phone ALL DAY
(okay, this has slowed to 1-2 hours a week because of my schedule)

7. 13 year old me thought Jonathan Taylor Thomas was HOTTTTT!
(if anyone could find a pic of him in his twentysomethings, I'd be grateful).

In other news, I took an obscene amount of money out of my checking account (and overdraft credit-card like loan $$$) out to cover the deposit on the apartment Jackie and I are soon to get the keys to. (Tomorrow, from the super ACTUALLY named Ricardo). Too bad we haven't talked about how we pay for the electric yet... but the lights ARE on in the apartment! (For now).

Thursday, April 28, 2005

Have I Ever?

For details on this, check the post before this (STEALING FROM REID)

Snuck out of the house: my parents were really dumb and put a "barbie door" (a little model glass deck door from trade shows) on ground level outside with a shelf that was level with it on the inside. So I'd climb on the shelf and wiggle my ass out of that door and I was safe. (I also could have just walked out of the back door and snuck around the house, but that wasn't nearly as 007 of me.)
Gotten lost in your city - mostly on the Lower East Side.... without Todd or D or a map I have NO idea where I am.
Been to any other countries besides the united states: Netherlands, England, Czech Republic & Belguim
Had a serious surgery – egg retrievals - three of em! I love anathesia
Gone out in public in your pajamas – of course. My favorite was running across Henry St in a snowstorm to get ice cream and beer in Bklyn
Kissed a stranger – yeah, but he wasn't a stranger for long!
Been arrested – surprisingly, no.
Laughed and had milk/coke come out of your nose – yeah recently - except it was beer. Not sure when, but I know its happened multiple times since I was 21
Swore at your parents – yeah when I wanted to go to Holland. I told my dad to fuck off and he tossed me out of the house, and then begged for me to come back.
Been in love – yes... with Kevin in h.s.
Been close to love – twice. I love Troy... even though he's bitter now thanks to me, and I am really really close to loving Todd if I don't already.
Been to a casino – I got forbidden from Treasure Il
Skinny-dipped - last summer .. Jeremiah kept trying to push his junk into me... I hate when guys do that.
Skipped school – ALL THE TIME in high school. I used to drive for hours - I don't think I went to a fifth of my senior year.
Seen a therapist - No, although a drunk guy suggested it.
.Done the splits - never been able to.. not that flexible!
Gotten stitches – I should have lots of times.... but I always avoid it somehow
Bitten someone – I'm pretty sure i bit todd... and I think one or two other boyfs...
Been to Niagara Falls - never - Todd promised me we'd go though..
Gotten the chicken pox – yeah but I don't remember it.
Been dumped - of course! I say only twice, but I think its actually up to four or five times...
Shoplifted – never from a store I didn't work at
Been fired – only from Wal-mart
Had a crush on someone of the same sex - yes, of course (my cousin Josh's friend Nikki was HOT!
Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back - doing that right now
Lied to a friend - when I'm watching one of my shows on TV, I ignore my friends calls and then call them back later and say I didn't hear it
Had a crush on a teacher - yeah ... my h.s. debate teacher - he forgot who I was the next year...
Slept with a co-worker – Does a boss's son count?
Driven over 400 miles in one day – I'm sure I have - how many miles is it from Winona to the Twin Cities?
Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show – yeah Josh & nikki were obssessed.
Thrown up in a bar – in Prague I puked in the toilet sitting in an inch of water.. and had a very similar experience in Alphabet City
Purposely set a part of myself on fire – no, but lots of my bipolar exes have with me as the witness
Met someone in person from the internet: yes. One didn't have an upper lip and the other one fucked with me (literally - he used me for sex, the bald bastard!)
Fired a gun: I shot my dad's rifle when I was 13, and it knocked me over. Haven't touched a gun since.
Taken painkillers: I took codeine when I was 14 and had pleurasy (sp?) - a kid in my class who later went to jail asked me if I had any extra to sell. Gotta love Wisconsin.

Stealing from Reid.. as usual

I learned how much my parents engrained in me yesterday. I woke up, sick as a dog, at 8am and called my boss and said I'd be in at 1. Then she texted me back and said I could stay out all day. I worried about this, since I don't have any vacation this year and didn't really WANT to take a day off, despite the fact that I could barely stand.

So at noon, I finally got up and emailed my boss, saying yes, I couldn't talk so I probably shouldn't try to ride the subway to work. I fretted and fumed and made Michelle go get me soup and Nyquil, and then Chinese. I saw more of my friends (Amanda, Todd, & Michelle) in one day than I normally do in a week - I can't wait until summer hours take effect so that I'll have the afternoons to listen to Amanda complain about work and make Todd watch Wheel-of-Fortune...

But anyway. When I was younger, and didn't want to go to school because I was "sick" my parents didn't allow us to go to anything AFTER school, like sleepovers or sports or extracirriculars.... so automatically, when I thought, I can't go to work today... I was like, I can't go out tonight (duh... my hair was HUGE and I didn't want to take a shower), and I can't socialize (that didn't happen, Todd came over, but I made him cuddle, so that's not REALLY socializing, is it?), and I CAN'T GO TO CLASS because that happens AFTER work.

So today's question is..... should I go to class? I really don't want to, b/c the pompous prick Stephen is in charge (long story) and its with the prof who once got trapped by her watch and her ring (check it out somewhere in the archives). It's the last class (THANK GOD) and I really don't want to go. So do I have to go?

Anyway, back to stealing from Reid's blog. He had this and I decided I should also steal it. It'll make for a really long post.... It's like "I Never" only backwards....

and I'm going to put it on another post... for easy reading capability.

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

I'm Not Homeless Anymore!

After months of worrying and weeks of anticipation, I'm not homeless anymore! Jackie & I are going to sign a lease on an apartment a couple of blocks away from the A station at 181st in Washington Heights, on the Island of Manhattan... way to go us!!!!

In other news, I apologize for the lack of posts. Lots of stuff has been going on with me everywhere but work, so I haven't had a chance to say anything even if I HAD wanted to.

But Reid posted this for me at his blog (http://kiddo78.blogspot.com) and I figured I should answer his questions.

So.. how this works. It started with a blog that Reid's friend had. Essentially, its an interview chain. If you are interested in being interviewed by me, here are the rules:
1. Leave me a comment saying “interview me.”
2. I will respond by asking you five questions here. They will be different questions than the ones above.
3. You will update YOUR blog (or if you don't have one, you can post it on the comments) with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

My Five Questions:
1. What was the first CD you bought/had? Tape?? I can't remember the first tapes, although I LOVED "Like A Prayer" by Madonna and "Rhythm Nation 1814" by Janet Jackson when I was younger. My first CDs were: Sheryl Crow's TUESDAY NIGHT MUSIC CLUB (which I didn't really appreciate until a year or two ago) and Paula Abdul's FOREVER YOUR GIRL (which was to replace a worn out tape)... I was 13. I think... it was the summer of 95, so maybe I was 14..?
2. Who/when was your first kiss & describe the situation? Cody Rogers - I was in ninth grade and 14. We kissed in the back row of the Cosmo theatre while pretending to watch MCHALE'S NAVY. He dumped me a few weeks later, and I proceeded to date two of his best friends immediately afterwards, thus beginning my career as a "maneater" according to my h.s. friends.
3. What do you miss most about Winona and the Midwest/MN/WI? This is going to sound really dorky, but I really miss my family, and the land itself. I guess I have a little Steinbeck in me. About Winona? I miss rollerblading in the park and going on random road trips with Brandi... and having all of my friends a drive away...
4. What do you like most about living in NYC? Anonymity. No one knows me or my business, which is fantastic - but I know that even though New Yorkers are jaded and leave you alone, if you fell down or got hurt on the street, someone would be there to make sure you're okay. It's the best of both worlds.
5. If you could kill/seriously injure/maim anyone and get away with it, who would it be and why? (feel free to use first name, last initial only) I was thinking about this... and its funny, but I wouldn't want to be violent about anyone since the only people I can think of just ANNOY me. I'd rather teach them a lesson than anything else... the first person that comes to mind is Eamon W., but I wouldn't know how to adequately punish him - I have moved on to feeling sorry for the poor selfish trendy bastard. So I guess I would want to cut off Stephen's ponytail - Stephen is a really annoying guy in the pub program who thinks he's better than everyone else b/c he's older and had businesses. If you had successful businesses, why would you sell them? Oh, and part of his punishment would be a good shave and calling him "Steve".

Saturday, April 23, 2005

Going to Jersey

The day has come........................

To go to New Jersey.

To go to Passover seder.

As Jackie says, "It's the religious version of the Atkins diet."

Friday, April 22, 2005

10 Reasons Why Today Sucks

1. Woke up from stimulating (not sexually, more hmmm.. what does that mean?)although peaceful dream at 6:40 am to remember a) its not saturday and b) Todd doesn't want to be with me. Grr.

2. At 8:20, can't decide what to wear. decide to eat yogurt naked before deciding on something easy that remarkably matches.

3. 8:45 - my ipod decides to conk out. I sit on my stair in desperation until I hit it and it works.

4. When I get to work to drown my sorrows in the makings of books, I discover that a) while I was crying and talking to Amanda about her wonderful pseudoboyf, my boss was bumping into Jay-Z and hugging Kayne West.

5. Then I discover there IS NO WORK TO DO and that all of the managerial staff is gone, and its a beautiful day, but there's no way I'm going to tell my boss that a) there's no work to do and b) I really want to leave and curl up in my sheets and drink wine with my friends. So I have to feign working.

6. I feel like I'm going to cry every five seconds - I think its my period

7. I was shunned from the other assistant's eating lunch - they never invite me. Not like I'd want to go, b/c I don't have much to say to them, but STILL. Its Friday. Have some courtesy. Don't mention it when you're nearby and you KNOW I can hear.

8. I realized this morning that I'm not getting laid for awhile.

9. Something that distinctly pisses me off is how nice it is NOW when I'm working, but Sunday when I want to go to the park it's going to be miserable.

10. Our apartment approval is taking weeks and weeks on end. (Well, 8 days so far.) What does the landlord need? Jackie & I clear the income hurdle, AND we have a guarantor. I feel like we're stalking our broker, the move-in date is a week from Sunday, and the landlord is holding out for a millionaire to want to live in Washington Heights. As Jackie says, if you're making $100 K a year, you're not living in Washington fucking Heights.

And, to answer your question, I DID wake up on the bad side of the bed this morning. The side that reminded me that Todd will never nap there again, and to help matters it was 7:45 am.

Thursday, April 21, 2005

Hating Men Is My Gasoline

Todd & I called it quits for what, the fourth time? Anyway, I think this time is real. I can't do this anymore, especially since I think I may love him and even though he claims he wants to be with me, he's not ready right now to treat me the way I want to be treated.

And frankly, I'm much farther in my love life than he is. Developmentally I mean... I've dated lots of different people - from Eliot with lots of piercings and goth attire, to Troy who was really straight laced, to even Dan and Clint and the other abnormals who, for the most part, really liked me. Some of them, like Kevin, Ryan and Troy, really loved me.

So I think its time to find someone that's more like me.

I was first attracted to Todd b/c he reminded me of Adam and Troy. Maybe I need to get away from the button-down wearing white guy. Not saying that I should date a gangster or anything, but someone different would be nice.

But not for awhile. If I say I'm taking a break, I'll fall in the park and meet my dream guy. Yeah right.

The silliest things remind me of Todd now. I wonder how long it will take me to get over him..... Oh - I forgot to mention that I'm over Adam! I spoke with him the other day, and was kind of like "why did I ever like him?" when I got off of the phone. No offense to him of course, but I think you have that with every ex where its finally like - I'm done!

Now, onto life's most important question: WHAT, if anything, about this week, was lucky? The bird shat on me.... and I got nothing?

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Pretty Pink Shoes = Pain

The forecast for today was 77 degrees and sunny, and since I don't have class tonight, I decided to wear my cheap (on sale at Strawberry) but unbelievably painful pink tweed shoes.

Okay, THAT was a mistake. I think my left foot has swelled at least five times its size, and the shoes are only getting worse every time I take my feet out of them. Damn feet! My right one is fine, even a little big, but the left one is like putting yourself into a dress two times too small. Not good. Not good at all.

So when you see someone in tweed shoes LIMPING down 6th Ave tonight, you will know who I am.

Monday, April 18, 2005

Meg the Red-Nosed Reindeer

Sorry everyone - I was much too tired from the weekend to blog.... and I had this weird propensity to want to be alone all day . . . . maybe it was because I stuck it out with Todd for 24 hours.. not really sure.

ANYWAY, my life is not in as much shambles as it usually is - my boss is at home today editing the life out of a manuscript so I am alone here at the office. I already ran through the stack of rejection letters, cleaned her office, watered her plants and went through my inbox twice. So now I'm really not sure what to do other than a couple of piddly things that I can do in five seconds. So while I put random folders and papers on my desk to APPEAR like i'm working, I'm blogging.

Bah humbug. It's beautiful outside and I'm inside typing away. But considering the sunburn I got this weekend from being in direct sunlight at Shea Stadium and at Central Park yesterday (where my hands BLOATED UP AGAIN!!! Must be the warm weather. I'd hate to see what they look like when its 90 degrees instead of 70) I probably should stay inside. But I'm restless as a direct result of having nada to do!!!

Ho hum, ho hum. So the ulcer has gone away - Jackie made a deposit on the apartment so they can't show it to anyone else, and the broker should be running our credit reports today so that we should know by Wednesday at the latest if we have the apartment. There's nothing really standing in our way because the parents will sign as guarantors on the lease if we don't qualify for it ourselves - which we WILL!!! So no more ulcer about THAT at least.

Now onto the things I DO have an ulcer about. I cried on Friday when Todd spent the night. Mind you, I WAS drunk but I'm starting to think that this is taking a rough toll on me. Obviously, I can't wait around for him, but at the same time I'm not really meeting anyone else (why is that.....) and I'm not really ready to cut him out of my life. And more importantly, I DON'T WANT to cut him out of my life. The IDEA makes me start to tear up (what is wrong with me?) and although we COULD go down the "friends" path I don't think that would be any better. Add some social dependency (Amanda, Jackie & Todd will be the only good friends I have around this summer since Michelle & Autumne are going home) and you have a crazy girl.

My best friend and I were talking about it: that we're both being "those women" with our prospective others - looking from the outside in we both think of ourselves as crazy, but when it comes to hack away at the strings that attach us to these boys, we leave a couple strings hanging and then later attempt to tie the ones we HAVE cut.

The funny thing is, I don't want a relationship with Todd. I don't really want him to even be my boyfriend, much less a "future husband". I just want him to really, really care about me and be into me - like he was at the very beginning of us, and what he was when we got back together. I don't know where that Todd went, but I want HIM back.

What I don't want is the guy that says "I want to see other people" after I haul my hooker-looking ass up to the Bronx, or the guy that says he agrees with Eamon the devil roommate when he says he should date someone new.

I guess I just have to figure out who I'm dealing with, because I don't want THAT guy. And if he IS that guy, I can't let myself take any more punishment.

In other random news (becuase I don't want you all to be depressed when you finish reading this post)

Yesterday morning (okay, noon) I stopped in at Cranberry's for coffee and a PIRATE hit on me!!! He was dressed up for little kids, but that doesn't make him any less piraty (or cute).

AND a bird shat (I love the past tense of "shit") on my hand yesterday at the Central Park Resevoir. A lot of other people would have made a huge fuss, but I just kept walking until I wiped it off with a stick and then continued to wash the rest of it off in a water fountain. It actually amused me since A) i was glad it didn't hit me on the head and B) It's a sign of good luck (apartment anyone?)

Friday, April 15, 2005

My friends always know the transsexuals

My friends are often transsexual magnets. And I mean that in a nice way. In Winona, there was "erica" - a kind of bitchy but nice trans that used to drink cosmos at the college bars. Unsuspecting barely-21s used to hit on her. My friend Brandi was friends with her until she became a bitch (Erica, not Brandi.)

Then Michelle (see post) knew Alex, and I saw the one on the train. Post-op transition definitely explains it. It must be so hard to do that. I can't imagine ever wanting to, but I've played men in theatrical roles and it's hard to be androgynous.

Onto more enlightening things - I think Jackie & I found an apartment!! It's on 181st & Pinehurst, down the street from the A train, a Starbucks and a bar that does karaoke on Thursdays - my kind of place!!! I'm very excited and hope that we can get stuff together so we can sign the lease on Monday. Our leasing agent is GREAT and nice and all that, and the apartment is very cute. A real 2 BR, and Jackie already agreed to split the rent differently b/c she's taking the big room. Our rooms are at opposite ends which KICKS ASS and I'm just very happy all around about the situation. We actually have a walk-in kitchen.

This of course will make me broker than shit for the next 3 months until financial aid comes to save my ass again, so be prepared for a lot of whining. But summer is less expensive than winter b/c you're out and about more... and I'll be exercising all the time....

And I'll have a REAL full bed! And be 15 minutes away from Todd!!!

And I'm going to Shea Stadium tomorrow!
After dinner & drinks with Todd tonight!
It's going to be 71 and sunny on Sunday for the park!
What a great weekend!
Why oh why is it only 11:22 am!

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Sorry for the lack of posts this week - I've been reading a novel and actually working at work, and working out at home. And I've been surprisingly busy. Somehow I have to squeeze laundry in there as well... somewhere.

This morning, I was on the A train when I realized the person that got on at Fulton Street was SO not a woman. I could tell from the back, and then when she turned around I could totally tell by her hands and face - not to mention her feet. And then I thought, shouldn't transvestites dress better than that? She had on this plaid awful oversized blouse and plaid capris - different plaids, mind you!

So when I sat down and she sat next to me, I was highly amused. Doubly amused when I realized you couldn't see where the skirt STARTED that the lady was wearing across from me (also sitting down). She apparently wanted to mix decades: she had on a stonewash sorta-puffy jean/down jacket (you know with the hood - so 80s) and platform Mary Janes (so 90s!). I couldn't tell what the skirt was, but I'm guessing early 21st century mini. If it was one of those trendy poufy ones I would have died right there on the train. My fashion mistakes pale in comparison to these two ladies!!

Oh, and I'm the luckiest girl in the universe - I get to cut work to look at apartments.. possibly for hours. I can't wait to enjoy the Ipod on the way uptown! This makes up for the horrible class tonight with the I-get-stuck-all-by-myself lady who teaches our class.

I'll ramble more later about Todd and what he's said NOW that made me cringe (although not enough to give up the sex.)

Sunday, April 10, 2005

What a Fantabulous Day!

Today was so great it requires TWO posts!

I started my day early (I woke up at about 9:30, which was shocking since Michelle & I stayed up until almost 3:30am) and went to Central Park, which was fantastic except that my hands swelled up (I noticed this somewhere near the West 80s) because I hadn't ate anything last night that didn't have salt in it (namely pickles and olives) so much I couldn't budge my rings or my watch (now I know what my hands would look like if I was 300 lbs however) which worried me a bit.

Then I ended up walking 20 more blocks because I was making good time and didn't have a cramp once! I usually get those weird you're-not-breathing-enough side cramps at least once in the walk) so I managed to walk the whole transverse PLUS about 14 more blocks.

When I made it home, I caught a bit of SPICEWORLD on HBO, then watched the Mets kick ass against the Braves. I turned it on in the beginning of the bottom of the 7th, when they made 5 runs in a matter of minutes, for their first win of the season. (Including a double from my man, Doug Mientkiewicz, former TWINS first baseman, the entire reason why I love the Mets now.) Did I mention I'm going to Shea Stadium next Saturday???

Then I went and sat on the promenade and talked to Lori and my parents, read a bit of my homework, then I went to see another apartment. It was GREAT - had a little balcony and everything and the girls actually watch TV, which is fantastic. They were really nice and I hope I get that one too.

I've decided that the recurring ulcer I get on Sundays is from the dreaded apartment waiting. I really hope I get one of these two apartments - both are really nice and cute. I think I like this one a bit better, just because the girls are a little more down to earth (even though one of them was really quiet) and they have a balcony!! (And the rent's cheaper.)

But all in all, a fantastic weekend. It was gorgeous out today - I didn't need a jacket for any of it. LOVE my new bag, too. I can't wait for summer in the city.

Now all I need is a place to live!

Oh, How the Mighty Have Fallen

Jackie said it'd take two weeks for me to give up the "i'm not going to sleep with Todd" commentary... well she should have said, "the next time you hang out with Todd you will get drunk, tell him you love him, and then sleep with him three times in about twelve hours and lay in his arms for half of Saturday."

Right. And then Todd made the remark that he doesn't come off all that well on the blog. So I've decided to make a list of 10 reasons I adore the man:

1. His eyebrows fall into his face if he doesn't trim them. (This I, like most other people, found this disturbing at first, but now I think it's adorable)
2. He's always there for me, no matter how crazy I get. I think he likes it, or finds me amusing when I rant.
3. He's well educated and the only person who wants to take apart my heating ducts to make sure his assumptions about them are right.
4. He knows how to hold me to make me feel better.
5. If I kiss him with passion and that I'll-take-care-of-you vibe, it makes him shiver inside. (If this isn't a sign of love, I don't know what is.)
6. Even though our relationship status is always questionable at best, there's something about him that makes me run directly back to his arms.
7. Best sex I've had in a very long time. (Also, a v. well-proportioned member. To sound like Goldilocks, just right.)
8. He always falls asleep before I do, and now I can tell when he is or is not sleeping.
9. Sometimes he's difficult to deal with, but most of the time he's sweet and really easy to get along with.
10. I have no idea why I think I love him, but I'm glad I do, even if he doesn't lov me.

I've always said that love is not necessarily about the other person loving you back. You have to let yourself fall in order to experience the good and the bad. With Todd, I have that rollercoaster almost every week. And as much as I'd like to move on and find that ideal relationship, I think I like this reality even more. Besides, it's a challenge - YOU WILL LOVE ME, you asshole! (just kidding).

Best thing ever: getting soaped up by Todd in the shower,very tenderly, to "FREEBIRD". (We were talking about how cheesy the song is and how much we both hated it in college. So it felt only appropriate to end the sex extravaganza on that note.)

In other news, I also think that I'm getting an ulcer every Sunday. I woke up this morning with that same feeling in my tummy. I think its nervousness about the apartment manifesting when I'm not busy. So I'm trying to keep myself busy and my thoughts positive. I emailed the girl whose apartment I adored. I would LOVE to live there! It's perfect... now can I get it? Everyone pray to their deity and cross their fingers.

Oh, and while you're doing that? Please pray that the junk food I ate last night doesn't go directly to my tummy.

Friday, April 08, 2005

Quit Smoking? Never. You don't want to deal with THAT bitch.

My Ipod is the DEVIL. It gets me hooked, and then disappoints me. So I guess Ipods are a lot like men.

My technie friend was right - the longer you have the thing, the less the battery seems to keep for its supposed 8 hours or whatever it is. And on top of it, they just don't make headphones loud enough for the city. Grrr!!

(I was without a lighter or matches for about twelve hours, hence the aggression.)

A lot of my friends, both now and in the past, have had trouble making decisions. An example? The where do you want to go question - everyone's always like I don't know, I don't know. One of my apartment interviewers asked me what my pet peeve was. IT'S THAT. Just say where you want to go, godddamnit!!!!!

Although he's totally not to blame for this, Todd fell into that trap tonight. We had planned to go out and so I didn't get a chance to call him and discuss it, so we just decided to figure it out today. Bad idea. Two emails each, a couple of distracted/angry phone calling and A VERY PISSED OFF MEG voicemail (no cigarettes and a mean boss today who didn't thank me for passing two books' "front matters" to press in a space of 2 hours - mind you, this usually takes at least a half of day), an indecisive plan on where to get drunk and blow off work was NOT good.

And then the Ipod headphones fucked up for the hundredth time. So I went and bought new ones that aren't NEARLY LOUD ENOUGH. Doesn't even drain out the people talking around me. And if I can't do that, then why am I wearing headphones in the first place...........................

That question is like this one I came up with when I bought the wrong pantyhose at Victoria's Secret (again - I really need to read the packages) -

WHO IN THE HELL WEARS CAPRI STOCKINGS?
If anyone can figure THAT out, let me know.
It's Meg's day of aggression!!! YAY....

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

I can't help it if I'm honest

To the comments by Kiddo (I love you, dear, I really do) and others:

I'm blatantly honest on my blog, I'm blatantly honest in my life. If they can't deal with that fuck em...

And I did think John was adorable. Regardless of age. If he doesn't call me that's his problem.

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

sorry, so sorry

I swear I tried to add paragraph spacing to the post right after this one. It wouldn't let me.

Apparently that's the punishment for term-paper length posts.

525,600 Minutes

How do you measure a year?
in daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee, in inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife,
in five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes
how do you measure a year in a life?
its time now to sing out though the story never ends
let's celebrate remember a year in a life of friends
(It was musical night on American Idol, which prompted me to download songs from RENT.)
My boss just found out that one of her friends has leukemia. She's only in her thirties, and just got married last year. My boss ruminated on how it effected her profoundly because she now feels like an adult.
When Alison was here, there was a moment when we were talking about Winona, and I was talking about my responsibilities now that I'm working full time and all that, and I realized in that conversation that I AM AN ADULT.
Which is SOOO strange. And then I thought of all I've been through this year... which frankly is a crazy, messed up scheme of things. No wonder my body decided to freak out yesterday from stress. With all the pressure I'm putting on myself, being homeless in a month, I'm surprised I haven't jumped out a window. But I guess getting laid stopped me from doing that before. Now I turn to Broadway musicials, which any hard up gay man will tell you works.
Speaking of gay people, I think I got turned down for an apartment in Greenpoint on Saturday because I wasn't gay enough, which frankly is true. I was disappointed at first because the apartment was cool, but I knew it wasn't the right one for me. I'll know it when I get there. I'm looking at some great places this week - unlike THE GHETTO where I went on Sunday. I shouldn't have even bothered, but the girl was so nice on the phone I hated to stand her up. I literally walked a block out of the subway station and then right back in. It wasn't that I didn't see any other white women, because I did, but I just had a vibe to GET THE HELL OUT. So I did. And I turned down a cute place today because of that too - I don't want to live anywhere near Bed Stuy. No offense to the people that live there, but it's just not safe. Or what I feel is safe.
James & I went out on Sunday... which was really fun. We met at Grand Central and caught a cab to the village, where we went to a hideous restaurant/wine bar - which, by the way, I could have totally avoided by asking him if he was hungry, because we both were and could have gotten a MUCH better meal. Oh well. Mark it up for next time. Then we went to the Blue Note, sat through one set of jazz ($35 per person) and left because we couldn't talk. (They literally have a "quiet" policy. Screw that.) We went to Fat Black Pussycat and had a few and then he asked me if I wanted to sleep with him. Apparently the British don't have as many innuendos for sex.
Meg's British/American Dictionary for Sex Slang:
Snog/Make Out
Shag/Fuck
Fuck/Fuck (surprisingly)
sleep with/sleep next to
there are others, but I'm bored with this already.
James, leave your input. For once.
So I went back to the hotel, drank another bottle of wine that room service brought up (the guy called me MISS, the highlight of my evening, I love when waiters/servers do that. Especially to a drunk girl in some guy's hotel room at 1am on a Sunday.) with him and literally just slept. It was fantastic - but my hair the next morning was atrocious and J gave me cab fare. I have never felt more like Julia Roberts in my life. (think PRETTY WOMAN, not STEEL MAGNOLIAS, even though I was that sick the rest of the day.)
And yesterday was spent recovering, but the big news is that James is talking with some people about getting his same job in the States - in the NYC branch. I can't decide if this is a good thing or a bad thing. Good, because that adds a friend to my list, but bad because we work really well on a see-you-once-every-two-months basis. He's really sweet and we get along fantastically - and I can't ignore how cute he is with the accent and all (even though he MUST grow his hair again. I hate how it looks now!!) and I would feel the need to date him. I know I wouldn't have to or anything but I would wnat to, and I don't know if that's the best idea. I would rather have a good guy friend that I'm attracted to than no friend at all.
But I did come up with the perfect sentence to describe my emotional state right now with sex: I'm too fucked up to fuck. Which is utterly true. So looks like I'm not getting any for a while. Jackie's got a two week bet on me and Todd - anyone else game?
Thanks to American Idol tonight (GO CARRIE!!!) Michelle & I are going to hunt down elusive $20 RENT tickets for this weekend. Who says Broadway's expensive? We just have to stalk the theatre.. maybe I'll see the guy who plays Mark. He's hot. Not that I need to meet any more men right now. Speaking of which, John doesn't want to call me b/c he feels old or just wanted to kiss me or something, and Diallo? who the fuck knows.

Saturday, April 02, 2005

The Bestseller at the Bar

I went apartment interviewing in Chelsea on Wednesday, and as I said to the guy, the weirdest shit happens to me. I have STORIES. Well, here's a story.

Amanda & I went out to the Henry St. Ale House even though the crowd was weak, mostly because the crowd at Annie's (our former regular bar) is creepy and we didn't want to walk to Atlantic Avenue.

So we were down there, and I was telling her all about the Todd breakup, and she was talking about what happened with her resident cuntsnatcher, William. (Cuntsnatcher- great word for "guy who sleeps with you and fucks with your emotions and you let him. Use it. It will be in Webster's one day.) A cutie walked in and ordered Guinness and I was talking to the bartender Pete about something and we happened to begin talking.

JOHN was articulate - we were talking about magazines, which thanks to the Pace Publishing program, I can now talk about in words like "spread" and say things like "the editorial content doesn't match its artistic direction." yeah. Okay, so I ask him what he does, and he's an art director for a men's magazine, fairly high profile. I'm suitable impressed, and tell him my lowly position on the book publishing foodchain, which he's impressed with. And he mentions, do you know my sister's book?

Ordinarily, I wouldn't have - or I would have pretended to. But I DID know it, because we used its sales figures to try to buy another blog book that I really, really loved. It's a memoir ala Elizabeth Wurtzel, with appropriate pop culture and Jewish sarcasm. And it happens to be a NY Times bestseller. (I know this because we get sent them at work. And although it wasn't on the normal list, it was on the same extended weird everything-that's-not-normal-nonfiction list as HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU.) He suggests I read it because he's in it, since that's his sister's book.

So the bar closes because we're the only two people in there. (Amanda instinctively caught the "this-one-is-mine" hint.) We leave and go for a walk, down the promenade, around Montague St, etc. and end up at his apartment. I want to spend more time with him, so we go upstairs.

But that's not all. At the bar I realize he's 37 - he tells me this and we go through the inappropriate you were 13 when I was born remarks. Outside the bar in the better Bklyn night lighting, I realize that he's graying. Salt-and-pepper graying. But he's still adorable. SO I decide this isn't an altogether bad thing, and I continue to babble. Need I mention, that even though I'm wearing flats, he's definitely not as tall as me? This isn't that important, since the short guys I've slept with (kevin v., clay g. and andy b.) have been the best.

So we go back to the apartment and make out. I stop him at the shirt, although I allowed him to play around with me downstairs because, what the hell? He remarks about it being soft - at which point, I wanted to ask, who have you been with who wasn't (but I wasn't that drunk thank god). I asked for his card, b/c I sort of want to see him again.

He offered to let me stay, but since I don't make my own schedule at work like he does, I knew that it was a bad idea to do so. So I got home and went to bed at 4am, and was suitably tired all day. But I got an idea - I emailed him a cute email about how I googled him - I had told him that I google everyone I meet as to ascertain they're not serial killers - and put the link to this blog at the bottom. So, John, if you're reading this my cell number is also somewhere in that email.

And, being the weird girl that I am regarding souveneirs of my adventures, I bought the book. I was at B&N anyway b/c I wanted to read something that wasn't pub'd by my publisher. It's hilarious and I would have bought it anyway if I hadn't made out with the author's brother the night before.

It also helps that the book is dedicated to him and that his height is explained in the book as a thyroid condition. So I've decided that I must make out with this man again, if for nothing but the story. I don't imagine this would be that hard to do, since we literally live a block away from each other and I do have his cell number (on his card). Plus, he's cute and from what I've seen, it would not be a bad thing to see him naked.

Although I am reconsidering my idea to give him the link here. Oh well.

In other Meg news:
I'm going to see the greenpoint apartment in a few hours and REALLY, REALLY hope it's nice and that I get it. Because that would kick ass. Although I'm dreading taking the L train shuttle bus. I've been avoiding buses for my entire NY life and hoped I would never have to do that. But I'll bite the bullet for this apartment.

I'm really hoping I can go out tonight with Amanda, Autumne and perhaps Jackie. Diallo is supposed to show up at some point as well. Hopefully this time he drinks more than seltzer so I don't feel like an alcoholic.

James is coming tomorrrow(!) which is completely surreal to me. But I'll have plenty of time to think about it while walking around the park.

I got tipsy last night and really, really missed my family and Todd. Guess my cry-of-the-month in that department is satiated. But I didn't call him - which shows an E for effort and a P for progress.