To Answer the Comments

To answer the comments (and I'm very pleased that there ARE comments) I know that 'the todd thing' is nuts. But I want to say that despite all appearances I was really really happy when I was with him.

Now, do I think its realistic that we'll get back together and live happily ever after? No. Am I ready to meet My Mr. Right (or at least mr. Right Now)? No. Because I'm still stuck on Todd.

What happenned Saturday night was that we both expressed our feelings. Whether or not his were true, at least I spoke my mind. I also gave him the opportunity to fight for me. If he doesn't, then I'll move on. If he does, well then that gives us more to argue about. And I'm not going to wait.

All my friends have yelled at me the last couple of days (except the guys, which makes "anonymous" seem kind of femme), but only I know what's right for me. And sleeping with Todd, despite how it looks from the outside, was right for me. It made me a calm, rational person although Sunday was spent ruminating on the affair. But thanks to my girlfriends Lori & Michelle, I know it's okay for me not to get over him for awhile. So why can't my recovery and Todd's decision making run concurrently? I don't see anything wrong with that.

What I do see wrong with it (and I think you all will agree with me) is if I sit around waiting for Todd to come back, or (god forbid) give it up for him every weekend, basically giving him "the milk for free" as the saying goes. I've made those mistakes before and seen them being made with exes and I'm not doing that.

Although I'm fully single and will probably show that at any given opportunity, I'm not ready to move on officially yet. And I don't think that I should be. What anonymous didn't take into consideration is that my relationship with Todd was the longest, MOST SERIOUS THING I've had since HIGH SCHOOL. And I love him. So that takes some getting over.

So, friends, do you agree with me? I think I'm doing pretty well in my mission to get over Todd and yet still hold him at arm's length. Anonymous has a point though - love isn't about whether or not you want to be with someone. And I think that's where I'm missing the point about Todd. But yet I love Todd, and want to be with him. But yet again, I'm not willing to be with a person (who's not in love with me) that I'm in love with, because that seems like a major exercise in futility.

But yet again, I'm weird. I like to keep in touch with my exes. I was friends with my major exes, with one exception, throughout college. I'm the pack rat of exes. So let's just add Todd to the bunch, shall we?

Advice is nice, but compassion is in fashion. (I know that's lame, but it's good, right?)