Rolling, Rolling, Rolling

Trying to blog about a vast amount of material is always trying. So to save myself and to save my readership (which I still think exists mostly in my head and a small corner of Bombay) the headache of reading a thesis in this purply brown color, I will chunk these stories up.

FIRST CHUNK: Jackie & Meg take on Buffalo and in an auxiliary sense, Toronto

Last Friday morning, Jackie and I decided to go it alone (Yfrasie decided not to come) to Buffalo/Toronto/Niagara Falls/all points in between. So when I got home from work, I cleaned up and ate and grabbed things she had forgotten like her toothbrush and cell phone charger, etc, and cleaned the house in a mad dash, since my mother had indoctorined me to believe that you cannot leave a dirty house on a trip (something I've always been grateful for when I came home.)

So at 2pm we were on the expressway headed out of the metro. We passed by Todd's and I made a hex and yelled that I hated Riverdale..... and that was the general feeling for the weekend. Disgust and amusement.

We made it up to Buffalo after 2 traffic jams, a plethora of stop-and-go traffic, and an accident involving a speedy Winnebago (and not involving us) at 11pm. We were exhausted, but needing a drink. We were staying at Jackie's friend Brandi's house, along with her roommate Justina. We drank HEAVY (and I mean, heavy) drinks made with Smirnoff Watermelon Vodka. Their apartment looked like something out of Pottery Barn, while they looked like they had been reading Cosmo since they were born (and Justina had been tanning for about 20 years, her skin was so... leathery.)

But I blew off judging them and instead tried to talk to them about what I thought they might be interested in: Dieting, clothes, hair.. and alcohol, and all seemed to go well. Until we got to the bar.

The bars in the B-lo were dead because of the holiday, AND both of our hostesses got us to pay for shots and then promptly left us to hit on guys.

When Justina decided not to come along to the next bar with the three of us and the two guys Brandi had tagging, I thought it was cool. SHE wasn't our hostess; she was just the roommate. In bad taste, yes. Rude, no. Had I done it before? probably.

But then at the next bar (which sucked even more than the last), Brandi left us. She took off with her guy (a very white guy named Jose) and left the other guy standing and told us to bring him home with us when we went. We didn't mind too much (or Jackie didn't, I figured I was stuck there) until we came to our senses and realized what had happened - and that we couldn't get rid of this guy. Neither of us know his name, even now.

But what we do remember is this: He said (and I quote): "Judaism is not a faith, it's not a religion. Jews don't exist" - and "gays don't exist, they're just confused like the Jews."

EXCUSE ME?

I've met some pretty uneducated people in my day, but this guy takes the cake.

I convince Jackie that we should abandon this guy, strand him essentially, and go get wasted at another bar (I had had like 8 shots at this point and because the night sucked so bad, was completely sober - but Jackie, being the girl that she is, decided not to spend money and jumped in a cab. We had a great cabbie - a really funny guy who said that all of these people (and everyone in B-lo) sucked and we were getting the shaft.

Which, of course, empowered the bitch living in Jackie, just under the surface, 24/7. She said that we should drive to Toronto for breakfast and I agreed. I didn't want to stay in the creepy B-lo (it really IS creepy. There's a reason people hate that place.) So we stormed into Brandi's apartment and she and the boy were nowhere to be seen, much less her roommate. So I pounded on her door and made her open up (our stuff was inside, so we couldn't be stealth and just leave) and Jackie sufficiently bitched her out and told the guy with her to call his boy (who had gotten J's number from our awesome waitress and had called her 8 times already... so much for her Jewish ass not existing) and Brandi was like, please don't leave, we're going to Toronto in the morning, blah blah blah.

Need I mention this was at 4:30 or so am?

So we drove off. Jackie was drunk and I was sober (although I knew that if I was pulled over, I'd blow drunk) and we headed out of Buffalo towards Toronto with both of our cell phones on silent since that guy kept calling us (a record - something like 19 times) at 4:30 in the morning, dressed up like hookers and heading toward a foreign country.

More to be continued...