Creative title, but I might end up with it being stuck in my head all day now.
So MY GOOD KARMA is finally kicking in. In the past 3 days I have:
*gotten back together with Mr. Todd (YAY)
* heard "I love you" from someone other than my mother (YAY YAY)
* no longer have my class tonight because of the snowstorm (Excellent since I did nothing but..)
* Drank drinks at noon on Sunday
* gotten a phone number from a v. good looking boy i'm NOT going to call, because of Mr. Todd....
* had very, very, very good makeup sex, complete with massage
I'm also eagerly awaiting my computer, which is supposed to be delivered on THURSDAY! (I was hoping for it a little bit earlier, but whatever!! YAYY!!!)
The Ebay auction isn't going so well, but I can't complain TOO much.... I looked at the Dior home website (check it out it's really cool (impossible to close out of though) and the girls are HOTT!) and I can't find MY purse but ones like it are around my asking price. Maybe some fool will buy mine like I did.
So now I'm just waiting to get an email telling US that the building is closing early and that we should all leave. I'm also worried cuz I got a bit of a sore throat and my boss has been deathly ill - I totally can't afford THAT right now.
So, anyway - back to work. Or something like it until they let us out or I got home. It looks pretyt nasty on 49th street out of the boss' window...
and to relay a message from DEBO:
i don't like to brag but Michelle's right. i am a good looking guy. think usher and denzel rolled into one, complete with the rock-solid eight pack. you'll be impressed.
Is an eight pack humanly possible? Or can't debo count?
Well - MY MAN gives me massages, is a great kisser, and is willing to ride with me on a 14 hour trip in the cab of a moving truck from WI to NYC after dealing with my family and me for almost 3 days when he could be doing anything else with his holiday weekend. I could care less about Usher and Denzel right about now. And I'd rather go to Tavern on the Green with Todd anyway.
Sorry, Debo. But I'll bring another friend for you to mack on. Amanda? Jackie? Do you want to drink cristal with Mr. Usher/Denzel?
I'm really glad now that my mom got me this odd vinyl compilation with "My Boyfriend's Back" on it so I can get it out of my head.
Monday, February 28, 2005
Friday, February 25, 2005
Champagne Does Very Bad Things - LIKE WINE
So I once bought a pair of $60 shoes after drinking wine at Caffe Buon Gusto in Bklyn....
And now, thanks to half a bottle of champagne I have a new Dell.
In 3-5 days: AND I have another maxed out credit card.
More and MORE blogs to come
MKS
And now, thanks to half a bottle of champagne I have a new Dell.
In 3-5 days: AND I have another maxed out credit card.
More and MORE blogs to come
MKS
Your name is DEBO??!!??
On that last post, Michelle commented:
I love the list. Really funny, and tells so much. Debo, my friend from Baltimore, tells me he'll send a picture, and can't wait to see if you write about what he must do to meet you. Of course, he wants me to take a picture of you with my cell. Yeah, don't know about that.
Thanks, Michelle. I love the list too. I also love the fact that your friend's name is one letter away from being an 80s new wave band which wore red hats in their video. http://www.sohoblues.com/DEVO/previewpages/previewpage1.htm
And now, the rest of you are thinking - BACK UP, BACK UP.
So Michelle & I are in this really boring Thursday class. We were in the midst of a post-class pee when she mentioned that her husband was coming to NYC and that he wanted to meet me because he liked the blog too...
And then she told me about this friend of hers, DEBO (such a great name) that wanted to hit on me when he came to town. So I asked for specs, because both she and her husband used to work for a financial company - which everyone knows they could be Wall Street Hot or Wall Street not.
She also mentioned that Mr. Debo is black, which is fine but made me rant about "D" the All-American football player (also black) with the gold tooth that wanted to hook up with me around Thanksgiving. The reason I didn't go out with him was that he was an All-American football player - and wasn't no quarterback or reciever. The man was huge.
So I asked lots of questions. Here's how the conversation went:
Meg: Is he a big black man or is he a medium black man
Michelle: Kinda skinny actually.
Meg: bones skinny or just not make you feel fat skinny?
(Then I went into why Todd' s so great - fat enough to not make ME feel fat but skinny enough where he's soooo cute!)
Michelle: Fat skinny.
Meg: oh - okay, that's the kind of guy I like
Michelle: So you'll meet him.
Meg: Is he a player (FLUSH)
Michelle: Yeah.
Meg: Only if you and husband (whose name I always forget) come along - oh - (burst of spontaneous smarts!) WE SHOULD MAKE HIM TAKE US SOMEWHERE SPENDY! Like Tavern on the Green, at least 50 a plate and wine by the bottle
(Michelle is laughing). If he wants to mack, at least make him spend a little money.
Michelle: Okay
Meg: We should make him buy us CRISTAL. (and then I mention Cristal all the way home.)
So, Debo guy - if you want to send a pic (and Michelle, let him read this - if he can't handle this he can't handle me!) post it or find someway to put it online so I can link to it.)
Because if the man's a playa, he's gotta pay.
In other news:
My boss is away today and I have become at least 200% more productive because of it.
Going out with Todd tomorrow should provide me with more fodder on Monday.
Selling Dior bag on Ebay so that my friend Megan can buy me a computer on Ebay (pretty much an even trade - gotta love America.)
Enjoy the weekend - I only have 3 more hours in which to be productive.
MKS
I love the list. Really funny, and tells so much. Debo, my friend from Baltimore, tells me he'll send a picture, and can't wait to see if you write about what he must do to meet you. Of course, he wants me to take a picture of you with my cell. Yeah, don't know about that.
Thanks, Michelle. I love the list too. I also love the fact that your friend's name is one letter away from being an 80s new wave band which wore red hats in their video. http://www.sohoblues.com/DEVO/previewpages/previewpage1.htm
And now, the rest of you are thinking - BACK UP, BACK UP.
So Michelle & I are in this really boring Thursday class. We were in the midst of a post-class pee when she mentioned that her husband was coming to NYC and that he wanted to meet me because he liked the blog too...
And then she told me about this friend of hers, DEBO (such a great name) that wanted to hit on me when he came to town. So I asked for specs, because both she and her husband used to work for a financial company - which everyone knows they could be Wall Street Hot or Wall Street not.
She also mentioned that Mr. Debo is black, which is fine but made me rant about "D" the All-American football player (also black) with the gold tooth that wanted to hook up with me around Thanksgiving. The reason I didn't go out with him was that he was an All-American football player - and wasn't no quarterback or reciever. The man was huge.
So I asked lots of questions. Here's how the conversation went:
Meg: Is he a big black man or is he a medium black man
Michelle: Kinda skinny actually.
Meg: bones skinny or just not make you feel fat skinny?
(Then I went into why Todd' s so great - fat enough to not make ME feel fat but skinny enough where he's soooo cute!)
Michelle: Fat skinny.
Meg: oh - okay, that's the kind of guy I like
Michelle: So you'll meet him.
Meg: Is he a player (FLUSH)
Michelle: Yeah.
Meg: Only if you and husband (whose name I always forget) come along - oh - (burst of spontaneous smarts!) WE SHOULD MAKE HIM TAKE US SOMEWHERE SPENDY! Like Tavern on the Green, at least 50 a plate and wine by the bottle
(Michelle is laughing). If he wants to mack, at least make him spend a little money.
Michelle: Okay
Meg: We should make him buy us CRISTAL. (and then I mention Cristal all the way home.)
So, Debo guy - if you want to send a pic (and Michelle, let him read this - if he can't handle this he can't handle me!) post it or find someway to put it online so I can link to it.)
Because if the man's a playa, he's gotta pay.
In other news:
My boss is away today and I have become at least 200% more productive because of it.
Going out with Todd tomorrow should provide me with more fodder on Monday.
Selling Dior bag on Ebay so that my friend Megan can buy me a computer on Ebay (pretty much an even trade - gotta love America.)
Enjoy the weekend - I only have 3 more hours in which to be productive.
MKS
Thursday, February 24, 2005
Inspired by Reid: 50 Things Not Everyone Knows About Me
I spent the first 45 minutes of work today reading my friend Reid's blog at http:kiddo78.blogspot.com - and I got inspired. But then I was disappointingly busy until this afternoon when I decided: If my boss isn't going to work, than neither am I. I'm going to look productive when I'm not.
So here goes. Reid had a list of not-so-well-known facts about him (about half I knew, half I didn't) and while waiting in line for lunch, I thought about what I would say. I narrowed myself down to fifty things, since Reid had about 100, and here goes.
I'll be interested to hear what some of you know (and don't) about me....
FIFTY THINGS ABOUT ME:
1. My name is pronounced MEG-han. Not MEE-gan, or god forbid Maayyygunn.
2. My grandmother on my mom's side was an orphan, because her mother died at age 24 - with perhaps cancer or syphillis. She was Native American, and married a white man who ran off on her.
3. I always hate new trendy music (think Nirvana in 1994, Strokes in 2002) and then get on the bandwagon later.
4. I have a birth defect where my core muscles aren't fully developed. Hence why my ass sticks out so much, and I look like I'm pregnant
5. I always, always, always, wear a push-up bra (WITH padding if possible).
6. I have a blood clot in my left leg because I crashed a tractor in an embankment when I was 13 on my mom's bday (March 10, 1995).
7. My favorite Beatle is Ringo.
8. I have an obsession with Central Park, particularly 72nd Street.
9. I hate sushi.
10. I used to run a radio station.
11. I hate AC/DC and "Welcome to the Jungle" by Guns & Roses after hearing it way too many times when I was 14, trying to hit on guys in garages.
12. I don't mind when I call myself SLUTTY but I hate when other people infer it. (I hate hypocracy too.)
13. I'm always the odd-girl-out. In almost every situation. Even when I get my friends (who aren't friends with each other) together. It's my curse.
14. The first CDs I bought were Sheryl Crow (Tuesday Night Music Club) and Paula Abdul (Forever Your Girl) in 1994
15. My brother and I are very creative people, but one year we got brown & black teddy bears for XMAS. I named mine "brownie" and still have him - he named his "Blackie"
16. I am a severe weather FREAK. BRING IT ON!!!! I love crisis!
17. I may say i'm a bisexual, but unforunately, I'm still not active and practicing.
18. I honestly have no gay-dar. Thought Reid was straight, Thought Josh was straight. Even thought I was straight. Until college.
19. I once followed Reid's ass with a video camera through a house.
20. I passed out at my own Halloween party.
21. I separate my friends from being friends with each other because I fear being in a group and being outcasted.
22. I have talked about sex with every boss I've ever had EXCEPT my father.
23. I helped build my parents house when I was 13 and hated every moment of it.
24. A serious side effect of the publishing industry really IS paper cuts.
25. I lost my virginity to the boyfriend who I had the longest relationship with (8 months) when I was 17.
26. My favorite fake flavor is GRAPE -- grape slushies especially but grape Skittles, grape Jolly Ranchers, and even grape cough syrup. (Grape Pucker also fave.)
27. I took away the virginity of a guy named Richard Winfield Adams.
28. My count of guys that I've slept with is more than my age.
29. I take the A,C,E, and B,V,D, &F trains to work, even though the 1,9,2,3 is more convienient, because the coffee place is down there and the A train people don't stare at you.
30. I've worked for black people the entire time I've lived in NYC.
31. I really want to be Jewish. Not really sure why.
32. I, like Reid, have been obssessed with the Titanic since the 6th grade. I actually criticized the movie at 16 leaning into my friends and saying stuff like "that door wasn't really there..." and "pfft" when Leonardo managed to get into 1st class.
33. 6th grade started my obsession with Jewishness and the Holocaust.
34. My best friend in elementary school was named Bobbie Jo. She had permed hair and later, I think, became a slut too.
35. I graduated high school in 1999 with the other 250 kids or so. (Originally in 9th grade we were 312... but.... whatever)
36. When I was in high school, my town of 10,o00 people had the most teenage pregnancy per capita in the state of Wisconsin.
37. I got my job at the book publisher after someone was fired. She gave the intern a lot of her work. My boss only discovered it when the work improved when I started as the intern.
38. I hated my best friend when I first met her (Lori) and thought she was annoying and naive.
39. I have extremely dry feet - which is why I purposely wear socks that make my feet sweat.
40. I failed my drivers test 3 times.
41. I love American Idol because I was obsessed with being a singer until I was 17 and realized I couldn't sing.
42. I'm still figuring out how to win a Grammy.
43. I don't wash my hands when I'm in a public bathroom. My hands are dry and will crack and get nasty.
44. If I shake someone's hand and they say "oooh, your hands are dry" I instantly don't like them.
45. I detest Greenwich Village trendy people. They irritate me trying to look different when all they do is look alike.
46. I hate the snowshoe boot - Ugggg look that's going on with shoes.
47. My style of dress has gotten better but I still show a lot of skin, and wear fitted clothes.
48. I'm a size 12. Although I was dangerously close to 14/16 territory! (and not just at EXPRESS!)
49. I began a diet three weeks ago based on a book we're publishing in May because I was REALLY pissed at the author and wanted to prove him wrong. I'm already losing weight, so I'm proving him right, but whatever.
50. My smoking habit is in direct relation to that I once played Margot Frank, in a production of THE DIARY OF ANNE FRANK.
Because its cold and the art people are wayyy too skinny for their own good, no skating tonight. Which is fine because I was going to go to class anyway because we have an assignment due. Even though I DETEST that class. Really, really, really hate it.
So that's it for Managing Ed guy. No more activities scheduled - which is fine because frankly my love life is messed up as it is. Good luck to Reid though (check out his blog).
And that's all. Still no cancelled class. (It's snowing here.)
So here goes. Reid had a list of not-so-well-known facts about him (about half I knew, half I didn't) and while waiting in line for lunch, I thought about what I would say. I narrowed myself down to fifty things, since Reid had about 100, and here goes.
I'll be interested to hear what some of you know (and don't) about me....
FIFTY THINGS ABOUT ME:
1. My name is pronounced MEG-han. Not MEE-gan, or god forbid Maayyygunn.
2. My grandmother on my mom's side was an orphan, because her mother died at age 24 - with perhaps cancer or syphillis. She was Native American, and married a white man who ran off on her.
3. I always hate new trendy music (think Nirvana in 1994, Strokes in 2002) and then get on the bandwagon later.
4. I have a birth defect where my core muscles aren't fully developed. Hence why my ass sticks out so much, and I look like I'm pregnant
5. I always, always, always, wear a push-up bra (WITH padding if possible).
6. I have a blood clot in my left leg because I crashed a tractor in an embankment when I was 13 on my mom's bday (March 10, 1995).
7. My favorite Beatle is Ringo.
8. I have an obsession with Central Park, particularly 72nd Street.
9. I hate sushi.
10. I used to run a radio station.
11. I hate AC/DC and "Welcome to the Jungle" by Guns & Roses after hearing it way too many times when I was 14, trying to hit on guys in garages.
12. I don't mind when I call myself SLUTTY but I hate when other people infer it. (I hate hypocracy too.)
13. I'm always the odd-girl-out. In almost every situation. Even when I get my friends (who aren't friends with each other) together. It's my curse.
14. The first CDs I bought were Sheryl Crow (Tuesday Night Music Club) and Paula Abdul (Forever Your Girl) in 1994
15. My brother and I are very creative people, but one year we got brown & black teddy bears for XMAS. I named mine "brownie" and still have him - he named his "Blackie"
16. I am a severe weather FREAK. BRING IT ON!!!! I love crisis!
17. I may say i'm a bisexual, but unforunately, I'm still not active and practicing.
18. I honestly have no gay-dar. Thought Reid was straight, Thought Josh was straight. Even thought I was straight. Until college.
19. I once followed Reid's ass with a video camera through a house.
20. I passed out at my own Halloween party.
21. I separate my friends from being friends with each other because I fear being in a group and being outcasted.
22. I have talked about sex with every boss I've ever had EXCEPT my father.
23. I helped build my parents house when I was 13 and hated every moment of it.
24. A serious side effect of the publishing industry really IS paper cuts.
25. I lost my virginity to the boyfriend who I had the longest relationship with (8 months) when I was 17.
26. My favorite fake flavor is GRAPE -- grape slushies especially but grape Skittles, grape Jolly Ranchers, and even grape cough syrup. (Grape Pucker also fave.)
27. I took away the virginity of a guy named Richard Winfield Adams.
28. My count of guys that I've slept with is more than my age.
29. I take the A,C,E, and B,V,D, &F trains to work, even though the 1,9,2,3 is more convienient, because the coffee place is down there and the A train people don't stare at you.
30. I've worked for black people the entire time I've lived in NYC.
31. I really want to be Jewish. Not really sure why.
32. I, like Reid, have been obssessed with the Titanic since the 6th grade. I actually criticized the movie at 16 leaning into my friends and saying stuff like "that door wasn't really there..." and "pfft" when Leonardo managed to get into 1st class.
33. 6th grade started my obsession with Jewishness and the Holocaust.
34. My best friend in elementary school was named Bobbie Jo. She had permed hair and later, I think, became a slut too.
35. I graduated high school in 1999 with the other 250 kids or so. (Originally in 9th grade we were 312... but.... whatever)
36. When I was in high school, my town of 10,o00 people had the most teenage pregnancy per capita in the state of Wisconsin.
37. I got my job at the book publisher after someone was fired. She gave the intern a lot of her work. My boss only discovered it when the work improved when I started as the intern.
38. I hated my best friend when I first met her (Lori) and thought she was annoying and naive.
39. I have extremely dry feet - which is why I purposely wear socks that make my feet sweat.
40. I failed my drivers test 3 times.
41. I love American Idol because I was obsessed with being a singer until I was 17 and realized I couldn't sing.
42. I'm still figuring out how to win a Grammy.
43. I don't wash my hands when I'm in a public bathroom. My hands are dry and will crack and get nasty.
44. If I shake someone's hand and they say "oooh, your hands are dry" I instantly don't like them.
45. I detest Greenwich Village trendy people. They irritate me trying to look different when all they do is look alike.
46. I hate the snowshoe boot - Ugggg look that's going on with shoes.
47. My style of dress has gotten better but I still show a lot of skin, and wear fitted clothes.
48. I'm a size 12. Although I was dangerously close to 14/16 territory! (and not just at EXPRESS!)
49. I began a diet three weeks ago based on a book we're publishing in May because I was REALLY pissed at the author and wanted to prove him wrong. I'm already losing weight, so I'm proving him right, but whatever.
50. My smoking habit is in direct relation to that I once played Margot Frank, in a production of THE DIARY OF ANNE FRANK.
Because its cold and the art people are wayyy too skinny for their own good, no skating tonight. Which is fine because I was going to go to class anyway because we have an assignment due. Even though I DETEST that class. Really, really, really hate it.
So that's it for Managing Ed guy. No more activities scheduled - which is fine because frankly my love life is messed up as it is. Good luck to Reid though (check out his blog).
And that's all. Still no cancelled class. (It's snowing here.)
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
When Friendship Hurts
My life sucks.
My boss has become edgy and bitchy as of late; I'm certain no one at work includes me in their reindeer games, and most of all my friends (as I said before about last weekend) are evil.
There are exceptions. Jenn said it best on the phone last night. "You DO have friends. I'm just here." (WI). And she's right. I do - Reid's in Minneapolis, Lori's in Michigan, Josh's in Eau Claire.... but I'm here. And damnit, I'm lonely! I know how Erica & Brandt have been feeling in their respective places now.
Jackie & Todd are also exempt - Jackie because this weekend was the first time she ever let me down (which is the get-out-of-jail-free card) and Todd, other than breaking up with me, which I think was the best thing after all - has been nothing but a friend.
But I'm starting to get mad at Amanda.
So she welcomes me into the fold on Saturday after Jackie didn't call me, then we went to Shade in the Village - and she sat outside on her phone talking to her sister for a half hour. Then she came back in, guzzled the wine, and promptly left me (but not without an "I LOVE YOU!!") and promised to make it up to me on Sunday, since we both had the wonderous holiday weekend.
But then she didn't call. Even after I called her. I got depressed. And then I called Todd and went out with him, and I already told you what happened there.
Then I called Monday to see if she wanted to hang, and she was "too busy with school." Which is a fine & dandy excuse, but it can't be true 24/7, frankly. I know I don't sound understanding, but I don't care. This has been a long time in coming.
To be completely honest, I don't even know if getting mad is worth it. But a hissy tantrum would be a relief. It would be SOOOO nice to just blast the woman who has made me feel, for whatever reason, incompetent.
This whole thing has made me appreciate Todd so much more as a friend. He listens to me or pretends to, is mr. chivalry with his wallet which is not necessary but nice, and I feel bad for blasting him yesterday. Maybe I blasted him just because I know that Amanda won't care if I blast her.
But I'm done for the day. It's time to go to class.
But first: MANAGING ED GUY UPDATE
Yeah, don't think this is going to happen. Went to ICM thing, wasn't there. Two cute ICM guys though - one totally gay was more interesting than straight one.
Don't really want to spend money to hang out with "groovy" indie art dept that makes me feel vastly uncool unless there's a reason to go. And my crush on this boy is certainly not big enough to a) spend money and b) miss an extra credit opportunity in my class which I feel I'll need as many points as possible in to make the grade...
So I choose not. I guess the practice for me with Todd was in vain. But it wasn't totally because I got to see Todd fall with his legs wider than I've ever seen them. It was kinda funny and oddly hot.
Ruminate on THAT.
My boss has become edgy and bitchy as of late; I'm certain no one at work includes me in their reindeer games, and most of all my friends (as I said before about last weekend) are evil.
There are exceptions. Jenn said it best on the phone last night. "You DO have friends. I'm just here." (WI). And she's right. I do - Reid's in Minneapolis, Lori's in Michigan, Josh's in Eau Claire.... but I'm here. And damnit, I'm lonely! I know how Erica & Brandt have been feeling in their respective places now.
Jackie & Todd are also exempt - Jackie because this weekend was the first time she ever let me down (which is the get-out-of-jail-free card) and Todd, other than breaking up with me, which I think was the best thing after all - has been nothing but a friend.
But I'm starting to get mad at Amanda.
So she welcomes me into the fold on Saturday after Jackie didn't call me, then we went to Shade in the Village - and she sat outside on her phone talking to her sister for a half hour. Then she came back in, guzzled the wine, and promptly left me (but not without an "I LOVE YOU!!") and promised to make it up to me on Sunday, since we both had the wonderous holiday weekend.
But then she didn't call. Even after I called her. I got depressed. And then I called Todd and went out with him, and I already told you what happened there.
Then I called Monday to see if she wanted to hang, and she was "too busy with school." Which is a fine & dandy excuse, but it can't be true 24/7, frankly. I know I don't sound understanding, but I don't care. This has been a long time in coming.
To be completely honest, I don't even know if getting mad is worth it. But a hissy tantrum would be a relief. It would be SOOOO nice to just blast the woman who has made me feel, for whatever reason, incompetent.
This whole thing has made me appreciate Todd so much more as a friend. He listens to me or pretends to, is mr. chivalry with his wallet which is not necessary but nice, and I feel bad for blasting him yesterday. Maybe I blasted him just because I know that Amanda won't care if I blast her.
But I'm done for the day. It's time to go to class.
But first: MANAGING ED GUY UPDATE
Yeah, don't think this is going to happen. Went to ICM thing, wasn't there. Two cute ICM guys though - one totally gay was more interesting than straight one.
Don't really want to spend money to hang out with "groovy" indie art dept that makes me feel vastly uncool unless there's a reason to go. And my crush on this boy is certainly not big enough to a) spend money and b) miss an extra credit opportunity in my class which I feel I'll need as many points as possible in to make the grade...
So I choose not. I guess the practice for me with Todd was in vain. But it wasn't totally because I got to see Todd fall with his legs wider than I've ever seen them. It was kinda funny and oddly hot.
Ruminate on THAT.
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
But I Don't Want to Socialize
So they've (and by meaning they I mean a girl from ICM and the assistant I like) planned a social outing for tonight at 6pm. Which is the reason I'm not getting ready to bail, ASAP.
But after the weekend I had, I'm lucky I'm at work.
FIRST: Todd & I have a wonderful Friday night in which I convince him he really needs to stay up all night, particularly with me. So we ride the subway system, never going farther than Jay St. in Bklyn and Canal Street and ride for a couple hours, going across the East River FIVE TIMES in an attempt to ride across the Manhattan Bridge. Funny thing about it was that we were at York St. Station a couple times - and that's right by the Watchtower, which is the only reason I like Jehovah's Witnesses (they have a lit time/temp that I can see from my room, helping me dress and know the time.) - I'd have to say that's the second reason. The Witnesses that used to come to KQAL to try to convert us to Christian rock were hot, which made up for their pitches.
Anyway, without getting into details - I would love to tell them to you, but for the sake of Todd's modesty (which, thanks to me, no longer exists) I won't. Anyway, things got a little steamy in the subway stations (between times when he had to pee and I wanted to scare him so I watched) and then steamier at home...
And then Saturday arrived, which we both missed about half of. Then I was supposed to go out with Jackie, WHO NEVER CALLED to cancel plans. So I was distressed, until I called Amanda and she was free.
So we got dressed and went down to Shade, where we promptly drank two bottles of wine, but she insisted on talking to her sister on her cell OUTSIDE for 30 MINUTES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! leaving me alone - and PISSED. Then she had to go "rescue her sister" and left me in the Village pissed off and half drunk. I didn't even have my Ipod. She promised to make it up to me and go out on Sunday........................ upon which she never called me back.
Dunnnttaahhddahhh! TODD TO THE RESCUE!!
Todd listened to me whine about having no friends, and then I met him (albeit late, but I was trying to put the perfect outfit together without repeating) in the Village and we happily made fun of 20 year old hoochies in the bar, which reminded me of Winona, which got us talking about college and all of that.
This is a total offshoot but we had great conversations this weekend. Including when he told me that the red roses he got for me on V Day were supposed to be yellow - the color of friendship according to him. And, on Sunday, when we discussed our relationship (reminder to self: NEVER, EVER DISCUSS THIS WITH TODD AGAIN. EVER. Unless he brings it up.) He said and I quote:
"I Don't know if I'm in love with you or not." - and the gem -"You don't want me to be honest with you."
HELLO!!! Honesty is usually a GOOD thing. What's he hiding? Is he an axe murderer? I know the 2 worst secrets he has (one of which I won't tell, the other is that he wears really bad boxers). But still.
And then Sunday he went home with me on one condition: That I NOT sleep with him. Fine by me, but weird. (the other assistant, who I smoked a cig with at lunch today, also thought that was weird. We had the same opinion: Sweet, but weird.)
I've given up trying to analyze this whole situation. Do you hear me, Todd? I give up. I love being your friend (exactly HOW many emails did we send today, back and forth?), love hanging out, love kissing you, and I think we're pretty good together other than your random staring-off-into-space-because-you-want-to-leave-but-don't-want-to-be-rude, and your basic lack of communication about how you feel about me.....
(I love hanging out with you is simply not adequate flattery, my friend)
Oh, and that whole dumping thing? Not very nice, but a good reality check.
So, for right now, I'm just taking it day by day and seeing what develops.
You never know how you really feel until someone comes along and interrupts whatever was going on. And I hope someone interrupts me, rather than having someone else step into Mr. Todd's life.
Because, despite how much of a pain-in-the-ass this is, it's too good to give up. Friendwise and more.
After all - it seems he's the only one I can reasonably depend on.
Speaking of which, Jackie - (you know how much I hate to address people individually, but this seems to be a pattern here)
Whatcha doing to do to make up the fact that you didn't call Saturday? Grrrr...
you only get one Get-Out-Of-Meg's-Mad-Free card. Do you want to use it or save it?
Alright gang. I have to go socialize in twenty minutes, and that means I should actually do some work before I go hang myself trying to be friendly.
MKS
But after the weekend I had, I'm lucky I'm at work.
FIRST: Todd & I have a wonderful Friday night in which I convince him he really needs to stay up all night, particularly with me. So we ride the subway system, never going farther than Jay St. in Bklyn and Canal Street and ride for a couple hours, going across the East River FIVE TIMES in an attempt to ride across the Manhattan Bridge. Funny thing about it was that we were at York St. Station a couple times - and that's right by the Watchtower, which is the only reason I like Jehovah's Witnesses (they have a lit time/temp that I can see from my room, helping me dress and know the time.) - I'd have to say that's the second reason. The Witnesses that used to come to KQAL to try to convert us to Christian rock were hot, which made up for their pitches.
Anyway, without getting into details - I would love to tell them to you, but for the sake of Todd's modesty (which, thanks to me, no longer exists) I won't. Anyway, things got a little steamy in the subway stations (between times when he had to pee and I wanted to scare him so I watched) and then steamier at home...
And then Saturday arrived, which we both missed about half of. Then I was supposed to go out with Jackie, WHO NEVER CALLED to cancel plans. So I was distressed, until I called Amanda and she was free.
So we got dressed and went down to Shade, where we promptly drank two bottles of wine, but she insisted on talking to her sister on her cell OUTSIDE for 30 MINUTES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! leaving me alone - and PISSED. Then she had to go "rescue her sister" and left me in the Village pissed off and half drunk. I didn't even have my Ipod. She promised to make it up to me and go out on Sunday........................ upon which she never called me back.
Dunnnttaahhddahhh! TODD TO THE RESCUE!!
Todd listened to me whine about having no friends, and then I met him (albeit late, but I was trying to put the perfect outfit together without repeating) in the Village and we happily made fun of 20 year old hoochies in the bar, which reminded me of Winona, which got us talking about college and all of that.
This is a total offshoot but we had great conversations this weekend. Including when he told me that the red roses he got for me on V Day were supposed to be yellow - the color of friendship according to him. And, on Sunday, when we discussed our relationship (reminder to self: NEVER, EVER DISCUSS THIS WITH TODD AGAIN. EVER. Unless he brings it up.) He said and I quote:
"I Don't know if I'm in love with you or not." - and the gem -"You don't want me to be honest with you."
HELLO!!! Honesty is usually a GOOD thing. What's he hiding? Is he an axe murderer? I know the 2 worst secrets he has (one of which I won't tell, the other is that he wears really bad boxers). But still.
And then Sunday he went home with me on one condition: That I NOT sleep with him. Fine by me, but weird. (the other assistant, who I smoked a cig with at lunch today, also thought that was weird. We had the same opinion: Sweet, but weird.)
I've given up trying to analyze this whole situation. Do you hear me, Todd? I give up. I love being your friend (exactly HOW many emails did we send today, back and forth?), love hanging out, love kissing you, and I think we're pretty good together other than your random staring-off-into-space-because-you-want-to-leave-but-don't-want-to-be-rude, and your basic lack of communication about how you feel about me.....
(I love hanging out with you is simply not adequate flattery, my friend)
Oh, and that whole dumping thing? Not very nice, but a good reality check.
So, for right now, I'm just taking it day by day and seeing what develops.
You never know how you really feel until someone comes along and interrupts whatever was going on. And I hope someone interrupts me, rather than having someone else step into Mr. Todd's life.
Because, despite how much of a pain-in-the-ass this is, it's too good to give up. Friendwise and more.
After all - it seems he's the only one I can reasonably depend on.
Speaking of which, Jackie - (you know how much I hate to address people individually, but this seems to be a pattern here)
Whatcha doing to do to make up the fact that you didn't call Saturday? Grrrr...
you only get one Get-Out-Of-Meg's-Mad-Free card. Do you want to use it or save it?
Alright gang. I have to go socialize in twenty minutes, and that means I should actually do some work before I go hang myself trying to be friendly.
MKS
Friday, February 18, 2005
Getting new books at 3:30 on a Friday Before A Holiday Weekend
So today - everyone plucking away silently at their keyboards, trying to get everything done for the long weekend.
And then comes the publisher. We bought the books we've been toiling over (mostly because they weren't profitable) because the president likes them.
At 3:30 on a Friday.
And out of some magic, I got all of the work necessary done by 5. But b/c everyone expects me to be here a little late, I have to stay until at least 5:30 to make myself look respectable.
Oh well. I'm practicing skating tonight, which I am definitely in no rush to run off and do, although I would like to be out of the building asap.........................
And then comes the publisher. We bought the books we've been toiling over (mostly because they weren't profitable) because the president likes them.
At 3:30 on a Friday.
And out of some magic, I got all of the work necessary done by 5. But b/c everyone expects me to be here a little late, I have to stay until at least 5:30 to make myself look respectable.
Oh well. I'm practicing skating tonight, which I am definitely in no rush to run off and do, although I would like to be out of the building asap.........................
Thursday, February 17, 2005
Cute Guy From Managing Ed, Round 2
So a bunch of us (which ended up being me, the other assistant that I like, and the boy in the art dept she's been hanging out with) are going to go skating in Central Park on Thursday evening (next week, which gives me a great excuse to skip class.)
I decide to invite the managing ed guy. And to make it less obvious, I also invited managing ed girl, who is totally cool. (everyone else in ME is kinda ick, but since I don't want any competition, I'm not inviting ANYONE else. Besides, if its just me, the assistant, the ME guy, and the art guy, it will totally look like a pseudodate. So I have to invite more people, hoping no one else will come.)
So I don't hear, and I don't hear. But after the elevator escapade, I GOT THE EMAIL.
"Sounds like fun. Count me in."
WAY TO GO MEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So I will see him outside of work on Tuesday & Thursday. Way to go me!
(Although I will miss American Idol on Tuesday.)
This makes the fact that Todd hasn't answered any of my emails for the last two days utterly forgettable.
I decide to invite the managing ed guy. And to make it less obvious, I also invited managing ed girl, who is totally cool. (everyone else in ME is kinda ick, but since I don't want any competition, I'm not inviting ANYONE else. Besides, if its just me, the assistant, the ME guy, and the art guy, it will totally look like a pseudodate. So I have to invite more people, hoping no one else will come.)
So I don't hear, and I don't hear. But after the elevator escapade, I GOT THE EMAIL.
"Sounds like fun. Count me in."
WAY TO GO MEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So I will see him outside of work on Tuesday & Thursday. Way to go me!
(Although I will miss American Idol on Tuesday.)
This makes the fact that Todd hasn't answered any of my emails for the last two days utterly forgettable.
American Idol vs. Cute Guy From Managing Ed
I KNOW I'm not supposed to go on here, but after I completed that blog I had to go downstairs to copy something on the color copier.
AND MANAGING ED GUY walked out of the other door to go down in the elevator too!
I LOVE HIM!!! One of the other assistants organized a mixer with some agents' assistants at a Midtown bar on Tuesday, and I WILL BE THERE (jackie, wanna go?) with a FABULOUS outfit on (change in the work bathroom at 6pm) so I can flirt with him.
And since the publishing industry is dominated with women, I better be charming. So no more of this "I screw up where the art department is, on 10 or 12." (but, may I say, he said "Me too.")
Ahhh, love. Before he turns into an emotional fuckwit or has a girlfriend.
AND MANAGING ED GUY walked out of the other door to go down in the elevator too!
I LOVE HIM!!! One of the other assistants organized a mixer with some agents' assistants at a Midtown bar on Tuesday, and I WILL BE THERE (jackie, wanna go?) with a FABULOUS outfit on (change in the work bathroom at 6pm) so I can flirt with him.
And since the publishing industry is dominated with women, I better be charming. So no more of this "I screw up where the art department is, on 10 or 12." (but, may I say, he said "Me too.")
Ahhh, love. Before he turns into an emotional fuckwit or has a girlfriend.
I love listening to conversations
I've been listening to a conversation between one of the other hallway workers (assistant) and the slightly better assistant. It was rumored that they had a tryst, but now I think they're just good friends.
I like Assistant A (the girl) - she's nice, and although she's very Ivy League like a lot of the other younguns that work here (not me!) I think she's going to move to a foreign country. Literally. I want to ask her about it, but then it will become blatantly obvious that I've been eavesdroppping.
Wherever she's going, the beer is ten cents. And she's going on a Princeton fellowship - I guess. Which means I can try to get a friend in at her position. I'm so mean...
And meanwhile my boss is using the good ol' company time to deal with this society for a Caribbean island that she was born on, whose last president basically pilfered all the money away.
So despite the fact that we got a threatening don't-use-the-internet-for-personal-reasons-anymore email on Tuesday, I'm faithfully blogging again. (Although I have limited my blog-checking to three times a day.) So, sorry for the lateness. Even though NONE of you have made comments, you ungrateful human beings!!!
Other than my eavesdropping activities, life is as usual. I hate my class tonight and DON'T WANT TO GO, but I have to because I'm skipping it next week on purpose to go ice-skating with my coworkers. (Laugh if you want to - I'm serious).
And I have weekend plans! Nothing for Friday yet, which is fine because I like that night mellow anyway, On Saturday I'm doing my communal walk around the park, exercise, clear my mind, all while checking out asses of men I'll never date, and then Saturday night Jackie & I are chilling, and then on Sunday? Who knows - I may have drinks with Dyana, or sex with Todd, or both. And then, I HAVE MONDAY OFF!!!! YAYYYYY.
So, no blog entry on Monday.
And the third, and last development:
I am no longer obsessed with boy. Or at least the sadness of boy. I've been skipping over the sad songs on my Ipod and refuse to fantasize about "what might have been". I'm back to my NOTTING HILL-esque dream of "Some celebrity and I are going to turn the same corner at the same time, he'll spill coffee on me and then fall in love with me, and I'll dress like a supastar and then I'll be a big famous editor with cool books and a view of 49th street and a loft apartment on the Upper West Side with a view of the park and a kitty. And life will be great, because I'll have Elijah Wood
Adam Brody
Orlando Bloom
The other hobbit that's goregous
That British actor from BEND IT LIKE BECKHAM, when he doesn't look like he's dying and sickly
or someone who knows when to call and when to send flowers and how to do his hair and dress well and drinks coffee, doesn't mind me smoking, likes the fact that I think I'm funny even when no one else does, is preferably Jewish so I can pretend I'm Charlotte from SEX IN THE CITY and convert,
may have glasses so I can hide them - thinks its FUNNY when the cat runs across one of our stomachs when the other is between their legs
AND, the topper, is smart and funny and loves his girlfriend, who he acknowledges is AWESOME. And I acknowledge him back.
Not that I'm not happy now. But it would be preferable to live on the Upper West Side. We can live in Bklyn, but a loft apartment is still required. And even though I'm rich, I'll still take the subway and make him wear a disguise. (so everyone will wonder why the cute girl's kissing the guy who looks strangely like Mario or Luigi.) Or the giant chicken (who had TEXAS stamped across his stomach, on 47th & 6th yesterday morning - I was curious but I didn't stop to find out.), or whomever.
But that's not to be today. But I can still dream, and look into the eyes of every guy I see on the subway to see if he's checking me out. (I don't count brothers, old guys, or thugs - they check out anything with a booty)
But mostly, I just realize they're gay and they like my a) coat b) hair c) shoes.
Thank god its Thursday.
I like Assistant A (the girl) - she's nice, and although she's very Ivy League like a lot of the other younguns that work here (not me!) I think she's going to move to a foreign country. Literally. I want to ask her about it, but then it will become blatantly obvious that I've been eavesdroppping.
Wherever she's going, the beer is ten cents. And she's going on a Princeton fellowship - I guess. Which means I can try to get a friend in at her position. I'm so mean...
And meanwhile my boss is using the good ol' company time to deal with this society for a Caribbean island that she was born on, whose last president basically pilfered all the money away.
So despite the fact that we got a threatening don't-use-the-internet-for-personal-reasons-anymore email on Tuesday, I'm faithfully blogging again. (Although I have limited my blog-checking to three times a day.) So, sorry for the lateness. Even though NONE of you have made comments, you ungrateful human beings!!!
Other than my eavesdropping activities, life is as usual. I hate my class tonight and DON'T WANT TO GO, but I have to because I'm skipping it next week on purpose to go ice-skating with my coworkers. (Laugh if you want to - I'm serious).
And I have weekend plans! Nothing for Friday yet, which is fine because I like that night mellow anyway, On Saturday I'm doing my communal walk around the park, exercise, clear my mind, all while checking out asses of men I'll never date, and then Saturday night Jackie & I are chilling, and then on Sunday? Who knows - I may have drinks with Dyana, or sex with Todd, or both. And then, I HAVE MONDAY OFF!!!! YAYYYYY.
So, no blog entry on Monday.
And the third, and last development:
I am no longer obsessed with boy. Or at least the sadness of boy. I've been skipping over the sad songs on my Ipod and refuse to fantasize about "what might have been". I'm back to my NOTTING HILL-esque dream of "Some celebrity and I are going to turn the same corner at the same time, he'll spill coffee on me and then fall in love with me, and I'll dress like a supastar and then I'll be a big famous editor with cool books and a view of 49th street and a loft apartment on the Upper West Side with a view of the park and a kitty. And life will be great, because I'll have Elijah Wood
Adam Brody
Orlando Bloom
The other hobbit that's goregous
That British actor from BEND IT LIKE BECKHAM, when he doesn't look like he's dying and sickly
or someone who knows when to call and when to send flowers and how to do his hair and dress well and drinks coffee, doesn't mind me smoking, likes the fact that I think I'm funny even when no one else does, is preferably Jewish so I can pretend I'm Charlotte from SEX IN THE CITY and convert,
may have glasses so I can hide them - thinks its FUNNY when the cat runs across one of our stomachs when the other is between their legs
AND, the topper, is smart and funny and loves his girlfriend, who he acknowledges is AWESOME. And I acknowledge him back.
Not that I'm not happy now. But it would be preferable to live on the Upper West Side. We can live in Bklyn, but a loft apartment is still required. And even though I'm rich, I'll still take the subway and make him wear a disguise. (so everyone will wonder why the cute girl's kissing the guy who looks strangely like Mario or Luigi.) Or the giant chicken (who had TEXAS stamped across his stomach, on 47th & 6th yesterday morning - I was curious but I didn't stop to find out.), or whomever.
But that's not to be today. But I can still dream, and look into the eyes of every guy I see on the subway to see if he's checking me out. (I don't count brothers, old guys, or thugs - they check out anything with a booty)
But mostly, I just realize they're gay and they like my a) coat b) hair c) shoes.
Thank god its Thursday.
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Breakup Songs
When I find myself in a melancholy or somber mood, or a I-want-to-ruminate-on-failed-relationships-while-drinking-coffee-and-smoking cigarettes, I listen to certain songs.
Well, one popped into my head when I was walking down to the loo. I discussed the friendship flowers with my boss and our office neighbor, and both of them thought it was a nice gesture (I never said it wasn't nice. Confusing, yes. Nice, yes. Do I not want them? NO.) But I was thinking about Todd reading this blog, and what I should say to him now. I'm confused too.
So maybe on the way home tonight, on the train, I'll ruminate to these lyrics. I got them all off a google search by the way. The songs are listed with titles and artist names, lest the RIAA try to sue me.
FORGET ABOUT IT - Alison Krauss
*I used to listen to this walking to school at WSU last year whenever Adam would make me upset. Strangely, it also works for the Mr. Todd situation.
Forget about itI'm admittin' I was wrong
And I'll just take what's mine
And walk right out the door F
Forget about it
I'll split and I'll be gone
And you'll have memories
You'll find hard to ignore'
Cause after all
I see you sometime
Maybe when I can't recall
How you drove me crazier
Forget about it
When forever's over
I won't remember how much I loved you anymore
Forget about those STARLIT NIGHTS
Laying by the fireside
Holding ME tight
I can't remember when I felt so right
So just forget about it
COULD YOU LIE - Alison Krauss
this was a favorite of mine after Todd. And, I guess, now. By the way, this does not mean that I don't want to keep doing what we're doing. It's healthy, especially with the aspects you in particular like.
Could you lie and say you love me just a little
One more wrong will keep us one more night
When quiet fades at the light of day
I see the truth
It's on your face again
*The last three lines were like breakfast on Saturday morning. Awkward as hell where he just wants to get his sex and leave and I was trying to get more of that out of him. Bad situation.
Well, one popped into my head when I was walking down to the loo. I discussed the friendship flowers with my boss and our office neighbor, and both of them thought it was a nice gesture (I never said it wasn't nice. Confusing, yes. Nice, yes. Do I not want them? NO.) But I was thinking about Todd reading this blog, and what I should say to him now. I'm confused too.
So maybe on the way home tonight, on the train, I'll ruminate to these lyrics. I got them all off a google search by the way. The songs are listed with titles and artist names, lest the RIAA try to sue me.
FORGET ABOUT IT - Alison Krauss
*I used to listen to this walking to school at WSU last year whenever Adam would make me upset. Strangely, it also works for the Mr. Todd situation.
Forget about itI'm admittin' I was wrong
And I'll just take what's mine
And walk right out the door F
Forget about it
I'll split and I'll be gone
And you'll have memories
You'll find hard to ignore'
Cause after all
I see you sometime
Maybe when I can't recall
How you drove me crazier
Forget about it
When forever's over
I won't remember how much I loved you anymore
Forget about those STARLIT NIGHTS
Laying by the fireside
Holding ME tight
I can't remember when I felt so right
So just forget about it
COULD YOU LIE - Alison Krauss
this was a favorite of mine after Todd. And, I guess, now. By the way, this does not mean that I don't want to keep doing what we're doing. It's healthy, especially with the aspects you in particular like.
Could you lie and say you love me just a little
One more wrong will keep us one more night
When quiet fades at the light of day
I see the truth
It's on your face again
*The last three lines were like breakfast on Saturday morning. Awkward as hell where he just wants to get his sex and leave and I was trying to get more of that out of him. Bad situation.
Friendship Flowers?
So I come home last night, from class, and expect just to get my JANE magazine and go up to work out. Right?
Wrong. I got a dozen roses. On Valentine's Day. I made my friend Michelle open the card in the elevator - and it was from Todd.
The card was cute (there are some things that will remain private) and when I called him to thank him he said that he ordered them a couple of weeks ago (after we broke up, apparently) and that they were "friendship flowers". Hmph.
Wrong. I got a dozen roses. On Valentine's Day. I made my friend Michelle open the card in the elevator - and it was from Todd.
The card was cute (there are some things that will remain private) and when I called him to thank him he said that he ordered them a couple of weeks ago (after we broke up, apparently) and that they were "friendship flowers". Hmph.
Monday, February 14, 2005
Quiz Show
I was checking on the other blogs I like, and I found this. If you want, fill it out and then post it - unless a nuclear strike happens, it will be the post for tomorrow. Jackie, I know you want to do this.
A. First, recommend to me:1. A movie2. A book3. A musical artist, song, or album
B. Ask me three questions – no more, no less. You may ask anything you want. I reserve the right, however, to weasel out of answering if necessary.
C. Play along on your own blog – if you have one and feel so inclined, of course.
Oh, and to the person who left a comment earlier - I will never have a webcam. Ever. That would reveal my identity. Not a good idea. Besides, that's creepy - although I AM glad you're addicted.
A. First, recommend to me:1. A movie2. A book3. A musical artist, song, or album
B. Ask me three questions – no more, no less. You may ask anything you want. I reserve the right, however, to weasel out of answering if necessary.
C. Play along on your own blog – if you have one and feel so inclined, of course.
Oh, and to the person who left a comment earlier - I will never have a webcam. Ever. That would reveal my identity. Not a good idea. Besides, that's creepy - although I AM glad you're addicted.
Self Help Books Do Not Help
So - my weekend. I started off waiting for Todd at 45th Street - and then went to Bklyn very awkwardly - but nada was awkward about Friday night. It felt as though we were (sort of) a couple again which was strange.
As I reflect upon it, it does remind me of when Troy & I used to pseudodate and it was in fact, better than actually dating him, which I think is the same for me and Todd.
What was funny about the whole thing was that Friday night was great --- we had wild sex and gentle sex, same for the kissing, and we were cute - we danced, we sat around and drank out of a 40, I sat and talked to him outside the bathroom in nada but his dress shirt, you know the cute stuff. But Saturday? Awkward as hell, and he did that thing that guys do when they want to leave but feel bad so they say nothing. And that's what he did. We went out for breakfast, but it felt strained.
And then I decide to ruminate on the whole thing, after an afternoon shopping with Autumne. I got a promo copy of a book about the whole "he's just not that into you" trend - but this one was "you're just not that into him either". I read it, thinking this way I could dissolve any notion I had that I was still into Todd.
Yeah. DID NOT HELP. This book was utter crap. It had a list in it of questions - and you were supposed to answer them honestly about the guy you were with, or wanted to be with, had just broken up with, etc. So I went through them and made a mental checklist. I come to the end - and this book has decided I'm in love with Todd.
BUT I DON"T THINK I AM. I mean, I could, judging on how long it's been, but I seriously doubt it. I know what being in love is, and this breakup would have hurt a lot worse if I had been in love.
What that book DID make me think about was why I was breakup-sexing with Mr. Todd. And I know why, I think. #1: I wanted him close to me again, in some capacity, and #2: I needed some lovin'.
And, thanks to some introspection on the blog & a really boring Thursday night class, I discovered why I was so bent up on Adam. I was sleeping with Adam as a way to get him to sleep next to me - and that's why I was being kinda slutty. I liked being slutty - in a way, it empowered me - but I also got the intimacy from Adam that I craved. And when he didn't give it to me, it hurt as much as when Todd said he didn't like me enough to be with me. And that's the clue that maybe, just maybe, I should quit Todd cold turkey.
But yet again. I don't know. I am very confused. But I'm certain I'm not as confused as Todd. We were talking about Adam, since he's an avid reader of the blog, too, and I said that I was discovering new issues since opening my heart out to the public here everyday and working through them. And he asked me, how do you work through your issues? So clearly the boy is aware he has them. I said that the best way for me is like a twelve step program: you recognize and acknowledge them as problematic, and then you try to cut the behavior behind them out of your life.
So for this, my issue is that I sleep with boys (or at least, I used to) not to satisfy myself but in order to feel close to them or attempt to get close to them emotionally. To stop this, I should stop sleeping around (which I did, I've only slept with 2 guys in NYC) and try to get close to boys before giving it up (which I sort of did with Todd when we were first together). But I can't figure out if that means I should stop sleeping with Todd, or just keep doing that every couple of weeks until someone comes around that I like.
Being single is so much harder than being in a relationship.
Now, onto lighter things. I watched the Grammys last night - and decided the church thing was a little too much for me, even though I liked the "I'll Take You There" version they did (even though that Staple Singer sounds like she smoked a pack of cigarettes before coming on stage). My favorite performance? Usher. My favorite part of the show? When Fergie from Black Eyed Peas started the whole thing with that voice. Just that voice... "Let's get it starrrttteedd innnn heeeereee"
But what happened to the awards? There were lots of performances, no awards. They gave out like 5 through the whole thing. And what was it with actors promoting their new movies? I love Matthew McConahey (no idea how to spell his name) but what the hell was he doing at the Grammys? And much less, presenting?
And WHAT was that Jennifer Lopez/ Marc Anthony performance? Or the Queen Latifah? Oh - we only have 23 performances, we need 25 to pull in the millions of people who watch this show no matter HOW crappy it is.
Can we get our usual Grammys back? The one where the nominees play the Record of the Year songs, they celebrate the dead people (but not as much as Ray Charles - let the man rest in peace, already), and they GIVE OUT AWARDS.
Last part of the blog for this AM (I know it's long, but I have the time, so why not?) is that this morning, I saw the white homeless guy down the street on the way to the coffee place. (for those of you not in Bklyn, our neighborhood has its token white homeless guy who's scary, and the black homeless guy who's harmless. This is pretty much the token for the city.) It was about 8am, because I got up early to come down to Rock Center and work on homework I hadn't started yet for class tonight before the boss came in. He was drinking out of a Colt 45 40 oz (thank god for NYC selling beer & liquor 24/7) and mumbling about conspiracy theories - all while everyone was just trying to make their way past him to work.
I love New York.
As I reflect upon it, it does remind me of when Troy & I used to pseudodate and it was in fact, better than actually dating him, which I think is the same for me and Todd.
What was funny about the whole thing was that Friday night was great --- we had wild sex and gentle sex, same for the kissing, and we were cute - we danced, we sat around and drank out of a 40, I sat and talked to him outside the bathroom in nada but his dress shirt, you know the cute stuff. But Saturday? Awkward as hell, and he did that thing that guys do when they want to leave but feel bad so they say nothing. And that's what he did. We went out for breakfast, but it felt strained.
And then I decide to ruminate on the whole thing, after an afternoon shopping with Autumne. I got a promo copy of a book about the whole "he's just not that into you" trend - but this one was "you're just not that into him either". I read it, thinking this way I could dissolve any notion I had that I was still into Todd.
Yeah. DID NOT HELP. This book was utter crap. It had a list in it of questions - and you were supposed to answer them honestly about the guy you were with, or wanted to be with, had just broken up with, etc. So I went through them and made a mental checklist. I come to the end - and this book has decided I'm in love with Todd.
BUT I DON"T THINK I AM. I mean, I could, judging on how long it's been, but I seriously doubt it. I know what being in love is, and this breakup would have hurt a lot worse if I had been in love.
What that book DID make me think about was why I was breakup-sexing with Mr. Todd. And I know why, I think. #1: I wanted him close to me again, in some capacity, and #2: I needed some lovin'.
And, thanks to some introspection on the blog & a really boring Thursday night class, I discovered why I was so bent up on Adam. I was sleeping with Adam as a way to get him to sleep next to me - and that's why I was being kinda slutty. I liked being slutty - in a way, it empowered me - but I also got the intimacy from Adam that I craved. And when he didn't give it to me, it hurt as much as when Todd said he didn't like me enough to be with me. And that's the clue that maybe, just maybe, I should quit Todd cold turkey.
But yet again. I don't know. I am very confused. But I'm certain I'm not as confused as Todd. We were talking about Adam, since he's an avid reader of the blog, too, and I said that I was discovering new issues since opening my heart out to the public here everyday and working through them. And he asked me, how do you work through your issues? So clearly the boy is aware he has them. I said that the best way for me is like a twelve step program: you recognize and acknowledge them as problematic, and then you try to cut the behavior behind them out of your life.
So for this, my issue is that I sleep with boys (or at least, I used to) not to satisfy myself but in order to feel close to them or attempt to get close to them emotionally. To stop this, I should stop sleeping around (which I did, I've only slept with 2 guys in NYC) and try to get close to boys before giving it up (which I sort of did with Todd when we were first together). But I can't figure out if that means I should stop sleeping with Todd, or just keep doing that every couple of weeks until someone comes around that I like.
Being single is so much harder than being in a relationship.
Now, onto lighter things. I watched the Grammys last night - and decided the church thing was a little too much for me, even though I liked the "I'll Take You There" version they did (even though that Staple Singer sounds like she smoked a pack of cigarettes before coming on stage). My favorite performance? Usher. My favorite part of the show? When Fergie from Black Eyed Peas started the whole thing with that voice. Just that voice... "Let's get it starrrttteedd innnn heeeereee"
But what happened to the awards? There were lots of performances, no awards. They gave out like 5 through the whole thing. And what was it with actors promoting their new movies? I love Matthew McConahey (no idea how to spell his name) but what the hell was he doing at the Grammys? And much less, presenting?
And WHAT was that Jennifer Lopez/ Marc Anthony performance? Or the Queen Latifah? Oh - we only have 23 performances, we need 25 to pull in the millions of people who watch this show no matter HOW crappy it is.
Can we get our usual Grammys back? The one where the nominees play the Record of the Year songs, they celebrate the dead people (but not as much as Ray Charles - let the man rest in peace, already), and they GIVE OUT AWARDS.
Last part of the blog for this AM (I know it's long, but I have the time, so why not?) is that this morning, I saw the white homeless guy down the street on the way to the coffee place. (for those of you not in Bklyn, our neighborhood has its token white homeless guy who's scary, and the black homeless guy who's harmless. This is pretty much the token for the city.) It was about 8am, because I got up early to come down to Rock Center and work on homework I hadn't started yet for class tonight before the boss came in. He was drinking out of a Colt 45 40 oz (thank god for NYC selling beer & liquor 24/7) and mumbling about conspiracy theories - all while everyone was just trying to make their way past him to work.
I love New York.
Friday, February 11, 2005
Love the Comments, Reid
They MAKE buttons/magnets/etc with "I Enjoy Being A Slut"? THAT'S GREAT.
That's better than what Jenn still hasn't sent me: the button that says "I'm a Miranda."
Since I am trying to look like Cynthia Nixon, growing my hair out and dyeing it red. The last time I tried to look like someone famous, it was Posh Spice.
*Check out Reid's comments on all of my posts, gang*
That's better than what Jenn still hasn't sent me: the button that says "I'm a Miranda."
Since I am trying to look like Cynthia Nixon, growing my hair out and dyeing it red. The last time I tried to look like someone famous, it was Posh Spice.
*Check out Reid's comments on all of my posts, gang*
Averting a Nightmare
A Long Time Ago (November) my friend Amanda & I decided that we should avoid more scary roommates and just move in together at the George. This was still when we planned to live together, a plan that since has fallen by the wayside - mostly at her doing, I might add, not that I really am that disappointed by the whole thing....
So we filed a room transfer.
And today, it came through. Which is crazy and so I had to track down the person in Pace Housing (which only took 4 phone calls) and luckily she was able to cancel that process.
Which is fortunate, since in approximately two hours Mr. Todd & I will be travelling to the depths of my bedroom.
I also talked with Adam this afternoon - but he hadn't seen the posts yet. I can't wait to see what he has to say.
Hmmmm... so my new roommate (hopefully) will be my friend Jackie. An easy description of her would be a new person in the pub program at Pace, who grew up in Westchester (a very rich burb of NYC) - but that would be incorrect. Essentially imagine a childhood/teenage years completely different than mine: Lots of friends, but family was kind of messed up, etc. But we're at the same place now, and we're lovin it. And as she says, we laugh at the same things, which is all too important. And she's looking for an apt in Manhattan. And altho I'm a Bklyn girl, it would be cheaper for a two-bedroom than living by myself.
AND SHE LIKES CATS! And has lots of guy friends. I think I've found my soulmate.
But back to writing rejections before I leave work (YAY!) to go screw myself up emotionally with Todd.
BYE! Leave comments!
MKS
So we filed a room transfer.
And today, it came through. Which is crazy and so I had to track down the person in Pace Housing (which only took 4 phone calls) and luckily she was able to cancel that process.
Which is fortunate, since in approximately two hours Mr. Todd & I will be travelling to the depths of my bedroom.
I also talked with Adam this afternoon - but he hadn't seen the posts yet. I can't wait to see what he has to say.
Hmmmm... so my new roommate (hopefully) will be my friend Jackie. An easy description of her would be a new person in the pub program at Pace, who grew up in Westchester (a very rich burb of NYC) - but that would be incorrect. Essentially imagine a childhood/teenage years completely different than mine: Lots of friends, but family was kind of messed up, etc. But we're at the same place now, and we're lovin it. And as she says, we laugh at the same things, which is all too important. And she's looking for an apt in Manhattan. And altho I'm a Bklyn girl, it would be cheaper for a two-bedroom than living by myself.
AND SHE LIKES CATS! And has lots of guy friends. I think I've found my soulmate.
But back to writing rejections before I leave work (YAY!) to go screw myself up emotionally with Todd.
BYE! Leave comments!
MKS
Thursday, February 10, 2005
One Last Post
I'm doing pretty well about not posting as much. I think.
Anyway, the highlight of my day was when my old boss, Tom, from THE BAR in good ol' Goodview MN called me to say hi and say that he recieved my letter asking him for the W-2 for last year.
I guess everything is going okay - and Amy & Brad (from Bub's) may come out to visit soon! Which would be awesome! (And very, very interesting.)
Todd & I have planned a rendezvous (yes, I had to look that up) in Bryant Park. He's working late, I'm running off a bit early because my boss is, and besides - who wants to miss out on kissy-kissy in the park with their ex?
I know I'm incorrigible. But remind me. Leave me a comment.
Anyway, the highlight of my day was when my old boss, Tom, from THE BAR in good ol' Goodview MN called me to say hi and say that he recieved my letter asking him for the W-2 for last year.
I guess everything is going okay - and Amy & Brad (from Bub's) may come out to visit soon! Which would be awesome! (And very, very interesting.)
Todd & I have planned a rendezvous (yes, I had to look that up) in Bryant Park. He's working late, I'm running off a bit early because my boss is, and besides - who wants to miss out on kissy-kissy in the park with their ex?
I know I'm incorrigible. But remind me. Leave me a comment.
Mr. Good Intentions & Mr. So Glad We're Having Sex
This blog has an impossibly great side effect: I get more email. So not only does it give me a place to rant without which these grand thoughts would not get out into the world other than in an one-sided phone call (and not nearly as witty I might add) but I also get great emails from people about my life.
Here are excerpts from two emails relevant to the blog.
Adam:
You seem quite hung up on the last few men in yourlife, whatever part they may have played. I don't meanthis in a bad way, but it has already been a frequent topic of your BLAGH. If I could offer anyadvice...look forward, not backward. As I mentionedearlier...learn, and live.
My response:
That's cuz I'm not over it yet. I had my second-longest relationship with you, even if I felt like I was being a glutton for punishment a lot of the time. (and you are right, Adam - I DON'T know you very much at all because you don't open up.) And frankly, my ego doesn't get over rejection very quickly.
So I have to admit I still think of you and miss you and all of that stuff that kept me doing what I was doing last year. One of the reasons I did it was because I knew you were Mr. Good Intentions. And I knew you weren't a good boyfriend from the foiled relationships I witnessed, so I figured the best way to get near you was to take what I could get. And I did, and it hurt, and in a lot of ways it still does. But I got a reward out of it - I'm so much closer to you friend-wise than I ever would have been before, making you buy beer for me at KQ. And it hurt when you said you didn't like me when you told me something else before I left Winona.
But don't think you're more than you are, or that I'm crying every night in my pillow because of you. I'm not - I just wonder why, for some guys, I'm just not girlfriend material when I'm almost everything else to them (this applies to Todd, too, although his circumstance is a mix between "immaturity" and "selfishness".) including a good friend and a (I think) good lover.
And, for some reason, it's always the guys I like the most that this happens to. There's only really been two in my life, and you are one of them. The other is a good friend from high school that is scared of getting hurt and not a city person at all, where I would die if I lived in Merrill my entire life, and didn't get to ride the subway every day.
Maybe I'm a bit jaded. As far as I'm concerned, Todd & I just broke up - but it was for an ok reason. And because I still care a lot for him as a friend (and he's a decent lover) I want to keep him in my life if possible, just like I want with every ex. To remind me of where I've been and where I can improve.
NEXT EMAIL: (Which is a lot less serious & somber, I bet!)
This is from my friend Jackie, who encouraged me to be friends with Seth to make him break up with his gf (maybe I really AM Summer!)
Don't be surprised if Seth doesn't call you back soon. Matty's grandmother died last night and he was very close with her so we will be doing things with his family all weekend.
Which is OK because J & I have plans to ambush him at a dinner on Sunday - maybe. If I'm out of the bedroom with Todd by then. (Todd is NOT a sexy name - although he is Mr. SO-Glad-We're Having Sex... what guy does not want breakup sex? Although i think we've both become WAAAYY too into the planning of the whole ordeal. And if there's anything I've learned, if you over-plan something, it usually sucks.)
A girl's gotta eat sometime. Look for more posts later.
Here are excerpts from two emails relevant to the blog.
Adam:
You seem quite hung up on the last few men in yourlife, whatever part they may have played. I don't meanthis in a bad way, but it has already been a frequent topic of your BLAGH. If I could offer anyadvice...look forward, not backward. As I mentionedearlier...learn, and live.
My response:
That's cuz I'm not over it yet. I had my second-longest relationship with you, even if I felt like I was being a glutton for punishment a lot of the time. (and you are right, Adam - I DON'T know you very much at all because you don't open up.) And frankly, my ego doesn't get over rejection very quickly.
So I have to admit I still think of you and miss you and all of that stuff that kept me doing what I was doing last year. One of the reasons I did it was because I knew you were Mr. Good Intentions. And I knew you weren't a good boyfriend from the foiled relationships I witnessed, so I figured the best way to get near you was to take what I could get. And I did, and it hurt, and in a lot of ways it still does. But I got a reward out of it - I'm so much closer to you friend-wise than I ever would have been before, making you buy beer for me at KQ. And it hurt when you said you didn't like me when you told me something else before I left Winona.
But don't think you're more than you are, or that I'm crying every night in my pillow because of you. I'm not - I just wonder why, for some guys, I'm just not girlfriend material when I'm almost everything else to them (this applies to Todd, too, although his circumstance is a mix between "immaturity" and "selfishness".) including a good friend and a (I think) good lover.
And, for some reason, it's always the guys I like the most that this happens to. There's only really been two in my life, and you are one of them. The other is a good friend from high school that is scared of getting hurt and not a city person at all, where I would die if I lived in Merrill my entire life, and didn't get to ride the subway every day.
Maybe I'm a bit jaded. As far as I'm concerned, Todd & I just broke up - but it was for an ok reason. And because I still care a lot for him as a friend (and he's a decent lover) I want to keep him in my life if possible, just like I want with every ex. To remind me of where I've been and where I can improve.
NEXT EMAIL: (Which is a lot less serious & somber, I bet!)
This is from my friend Jackie, who encouraged me to be friends with Seth to make him break up with his gf (maybe I really AM Summer!)
Don't be surprised if Seth doesn't call you back soon. Matty's grandmother died last night and he was very close with her so we will be doing things with his family all weekend.
Which is OK because J & I have plans to ambush him at a dinner on Sunday - maybe. If I'm out of the bedroom with Todd by then. (Todd is NOT a sexy name - although he is Mr. SO-Glad-We're Having Sex... what guy does not want breakup sex? Although i think we've both become WAAAYY too into the planning of the whole ordeal. And if there's anything I've learned, if you over-plan something, it usually sucks.)
A girl's gotta eat sometime. Look for more posts later.
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
Editorial Board AND Breakup Sex - What a Great Day!!!!
I wake up today, the second morning with my new "Lola" hair (I dyed it "sangria" which I forgot was Garnier-speak for Annie Lennox on the Eurythmics vinyl album cover) - and thought it was going to be a shit day. Which it has not.
I had ed board today, which is the highlight of my week. The boss & I sit in a room with the rest of our hallway and talk about the books we're working on and the books we're thinking of buying. Today, I learned of: an author who protested outside our building in Rockefeller because of a rejection form letter; that some books (according to the editor in chief) invoke this reaction: Why Cut down those trees? and that there is a difference between professional and amateur submissives (think S&M).
That was Ed board. Now I move onto the second part of my title - breakup sex. I haven't gotten any in a while. Even the weekend that Todd broke up with me I didn't get any.
Really, I've been trying to somehow invoke Todd into action on the breakup sex. But he, only having broken up with one girlfriend before me (The score is Todd: 2, Females: 0, which I find amusing) who didn't put out anyway, does not understand the joy that is breakup sex.
I schemed with Amanda (briefly) on how to get him to come home with me so I could seduce him, but she decided it was unwise to just be straightforward and ask. But after deciding that I am no longer a girl who makes out with other girls' boyfriends, I decided that asking Todd was the only way to avoid a weekend with - well, you know.
So after reading a very scantilous proposal about a professional submissive (those who know me will know why this reminded me of Mr. Todd) and then another proposal in which the character gets some in the first fifteen pages, I was horny as hell and didn't care.
I had emailed Mr. Todd before lunch anyway, because I thought the submissive proposal was cool. Then when he called me, we agreed to hang out on Friday. After an email exchange where I asked him (very straightforwardly) if he was open to a Brooklyn-bound train on Friday, he emailed back and said that he thought I wouldn't be open to this.
DOES HE KNOW ME AT ALL?
I asked him to sleep with me after we broke up. I kept Adam around pretty much for that reason (although romantic delusions had something to do with it as well.)
So now, Mr. Todd is excited (and reasonably so). I'm supposed to call him after class (damn class - I want to be finished - in that way - now!) and we'll see if I can hold off of my batteries until after that conversation.
Okay. So new subject, pretty much based on the breakup sex idea.
The reason I believe breakup sex is great is because you get to remember all the things about being close to that person that you may have missed. Thinking about it today I remembered certain things about Todd that I always liked and simply would not have known if I hadn't slept with him. (an example that I hope won't embarass him is that I was thinking about how unique his chest hair was, something I think I've discussed with most of my good friends.)
I'm trying to think of his smell and even how we fit together when we sleep next to each other and how we fit when we're doing other things when we're awake.
The hard part about breakup sex is that you have to keep romantic delusions out of it. I don't want to get back together with him, because I think the reasons he broke up with me are completely valid, and frankly I'm looking for something better than that.
But that doesn't mean I can't get orgasms in the meantime, right?
I have to admit (and when he reads this, he'll probably get uptight again about it) that in the past, guys have become "into me" again when they have breakup sex. And as much as I like Todd (hence wanting to stay friends, etc) , I might be susceptible to that persuasion if it comes about. But at the same time, in the past, I broke up with them.
All I can say is that I'm looking ALOT more forward to Friday night now. I hope tonight and tomorrow fly by like the rest of the week. I also really, really want to blow off Modern Tech tomorrow night because a) I hate it and b) I could have sex instead.
Either way, I'm in a much better mood now. I love doing reader's reports, which I've done all day, and I love Ed board - especially when I can make jokes, which I did. All is right in the world.
And now I've got to take my pussy to class, which is the LAST thing it wants to do.
I had ed board today, which is the highlight of my week. The boss & I sit in a room with the rest of our hallway and talk about the books we're working on and the books we're thinking of buying. Today, I learned of: an author who protested outside our building in Rockefeller because of a rejection form letter; that some books (according to the editor in chief) invoke this reaction: Why Cut down those trees? and that there is a difference between professional and amateur submissives (think S&M).
That was Ed board. Now I move onto the second part of my title - breakup sex. I haven't gotten any in a while. Even the weekend that Todd broke up with me I didn't get any.
Really, I've been trying to somehow invoke Todd into action on the breakup sex. But he, only having broken up with one girlfriend before me (The score is Todd: 2, Females: 0, which I find amusing) who didn't put out anyway, does not understand the joy that is breakup sex.
I schemed with Amanda (briefly) on how to get him to come home with me so I could seduce him, but she decided it was unwise to just be straightforward and ask. But after deciding that I am no longer a girl who makes out with other girls' boyfriends, I decided that asking Todd was the only way to avoid a weekend with - well, you know.
So after reading a very scantilous proposal about a professional submissive (those who know me will know why this reminded me of Mr. Todd) and then another proposal in which the character gets some in the first fifteen pages, I was horny as hell and didn't care.
I had emailed Mr. Todd before lunch anyway, because I thought the submissive proposal was cool. Then when he called me, we agreed to hang out on Friday. After an email exchange where I asked him (very straightforwardly) if he was open to a Brooklyn-bound train on Friday, he emailed back and said that he thought I wouldn't be open to this.
DOES HE KNOW ME AT ALL?
I asked him to sleep with me after we broke up. I kept Adam around pretty much for that reason (although romantic delusions had something to do with it as well.)
So now, Mr. Todd is excited (and reasonably so). I'm supposed to call him after class (damn class - I want to be finished - in that way - now!) and we'll see if I can hold off of my batteries until after that conversation.
Okay. So new subject, pretty much based on the breakup sex idea.
The reason I believe breakup sex is great is because you get to remember all the things about being close to that person that you may have missed. Thinking about it today I remembered certain things about Todd that I always liked and simply would not have known if I hadn't slept with him. (an example that I hope won't embarass him is that I was thinking about how unique his chest hair was, something I think I've discussed with most of my good friends.)
I'm trying to think of his smell and even how we fit together when we sleep next to each other and how we fit when we're doing other things when we're awake.
The hard part about breakup sex is that you have to keep romantic delusions out of it. I don't want to get back together with him, because I think the reasons he broke up with me are completely valid, and frankly I'm looking for something better than that.
But that doesn't mean I can't get orgasms in the meantime, right?
I have to admit (and when he reads this, he'll probably get uptight again about it) that in the past, guys have become "into me" again when they have breakup sex. And as much as I like Todd (hence wanting to stay friends, etc) , I might be susceptible to that persuasion if it comes about. But at the same time, in the past, I broke up with them.
All I can say is that I'm looking ALOT more forward to Friday night now. I hope tonight and tomorrow fly by like the rest of the week. I also really, really want to blow off Modern Tech tomorrow night because a) I hate it and b) I could have sex instead.
Either way, I'm in a much better mood now. I love doing reader's reports, which I've done all day, and I love Ed board - especially when I can make jokes, which I did. All is right in the world.
And now I've got to take my pussy to class, which is the LAST thing it wants to do.
Boys Boys Boys
Adam replied to my first post (Check out the anonymous comment) which redeems my opinion that he likes to drink. All in all, he's a decent guy with good intentions that always fail the people he intends them to be good for.
Anyway - to respond to Kiddo's comment on my last post - I'm sure that Seth realizes I called him three times - since he lost his phone. Yeah. Okay.
Last night, I got the girly Is-he-going-to-call anxiety, and then I thought, "why am I thinking this? He has a girlfriend, he's not that cute, and why am I HERE again?"
(I always seem to make out with people with girlfriends.) So then I decided I didn't care if Mr. I-have-the-same-name-as-Adam-Brody-on-TV called, because, frankly, he's no Adam Brody. And no make-believe Seth Cohen.
Although, according to the OC quiz I took online, I'm Summer, which I'm not sure is an insult or not.
Either way - back to work.
Anyway - to respond to Kiddo's comment on my last post - I'm sure that Seth realizes I called him three times - since he lost his phone. Yeah. Okay.
Last night, I got the girly Is-he-going-to-call anxiety, and then I thought, "why am I thinking this? He has a girlfriend, he's not that cute, and why am I HERE again?"
(I always seem to make out with people with girlfriends.) So then I decided I didn't care if Mr. I-have-the-same-name-as-Adam-Brody-on-TV called, because, frankly, he's no Adam Brody. And no make-believe Seth Cohen.
Although, according to the OC quiz I took online, I'm Summer, which I'm not sure is an insult or not.
Either way - back to work.
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
End of the Day Blues
Originally, I was going to bitch about having nothing to do for like an hour and half.
But then, I played around with my blog template.
(BY THE WAY, EVERYONE CAN MAKE COMMENTS NOW.)
And now its 5pm and I still have fifteen pages in front of me, and none of my homework for Book Production & Design done for tomorrow night's class. Oh well. On my To-Do list.
I called Seth - after awkward weird phone connection where I said "hello?" even though I know he doesn't have his phone right now - left a message. I'm actually really glad he lost his phone, because now he doesn't know I called three times. It was a connection thing, I swear!
And now I have to copy. Bye.
But then, I played around with my blog template.
(BY THE WAY, EVERYONE CAN MAKE COMMENTS NOW.)
And now its 5pm and I still have fifteen pages in front of me, and none of my homework for Book Production & Design done for tomorrow night's class. Oh well. On my To-Do list.
I called Seth - after awkward weird phone connection where I said "hello?" even though I know he doesn't have his phone right now - left a message. I'm actually really glad he lost his phone, because now he doesn't know I called three times. It was a connection thing, I swear!
And now I have to copy. Bye.
Pagination
So. Today. .
I just spent the last hour and a half repaginating a manuscript for a hospital, whose publication department is headed by a bitch who can't put an attachment on an email correctly.
In an ironic twist, my blog has brought about two more blogs - both from two of my friend Jenns. So check them out if you get a chance. They are on the blogspot too - http:jen0322.blogspot.com & noreason625.blogspot.com. So if you're THAT bored, or want to waste company time like me.
I just spent the last hour and a half repaginating a manuscript for a hospital, whose publication department is headed by a bitch who can't put an attachment on an email correctly.
In an ironic twist, my blog has brought about two more blogs - both from two of my friend Jenns. So check them out if you get a chance. They are on the blogspot too - http:jen0322.blogspot.com & noreason625.blogspot.com. So if you're THAT bored, or want to waste company time like me.
NEW IN MY LIFE:
Last weekend: I made out with a guy named Seth Cohen. Who happens to be Jewish. Who happens to have a girlfriend. My friend at work made me take an OC quiz... and I ended up being Summer, not Anna. If I was Anna, I might have a chance of breaking them up. Now I'm just destined to pine. Very depressing. But back to my story. My new friend Jackie (who rocks) from my classes at Pace introduced us and we came up with a plan to steer him away from his girlfriend who none of their friends likes. I don't think Seth even knows why he's with her, other than its easier than breaking up with her. My position on all of these kinds of relationships is: GET OUT!
(Except when its me. Then I beg. At the Spring Street Station, in the freezing cold. Love makes you crazy. And gives you bad memories of SoHo.)
Back to the story. I start talking with Seth at a party, and we dig each other, and we exchange numbers and agree to hang out on our own. Always good. So he went to the bathroom, and I went in like 30 seconds later to joke with him and generally make him uncomfortable, because for some reason I think that's funny.
Well in the bathroom (where I note, I did not look at the flacidity) he kissed me. (I don't remember who did what, but I still hold true that he kissed me first.) Whoops. That threw Jackie & my original plan to be friends and "get in through the back door " (don't think that way) out the window.
Long story short, Seth got really drunk and lost his phone. He's still checking voicemail, so I'm going to call him today at lunch or after work and tell him that I still want to hang out if he's interested. Maybe I can salvage Plan A after all.
Speaking of Guys: THE LOVE TRYST continues.
There's a Guy in Managing Ed who says hi to me every time he sees me and who I had a great elevator converstation with... which at the end, he asked me where I lived, clearly wanting to talk to me more.
(WHY, OH WHY CAN'T I GO TO MANAGING ED EVERY DAY!!) For those of you who don't work in publishing, there's various imprints - and ME looks over all of them. He works with another imprint, so technically I think it would be okay to date him.
He's not Hot, but he has the Hugh Grant hair that James used to have...
And I think he purposely walks through my hall to see me every day. Not sure yet though. He says hi even though I'm looking down. I want to make a move, but I think I'll wait for another good elevator conversation.
FINALLY!
Okay. I'm done now - my mission for the day is to try to fix the posting settings so that anyone can make comments, not just blogspot members. Although it would be cool if all my friends had blogs - I think some do. If I read yours, will you read mine?
Now that sounds dirty.....
I figured I better organize this a bit. Hence the color-coding.
So, as per the organization plan, I'm going to have a website of the day, or a quote of the day at the end of the blog, probably linking you to something more interesting than me. Today you're lucky & get both:
WEBSITES OF THE DAY:
www.jennsylvania.com - what this blog strives to be.
http://noreason625.blogspot.com - you should ask her anything about metal, including how she's going to witness my attempt to mosh this summer.
http://jen0322.blogspot.com - my friend Jennie in Arizona, the lucky bitch in the desert with a boyfriend.
QUOTE OF THE DAY:
"I'm not just another bum with a book - I'm a historical figure."
Some author to our usually sober, sometimes hilarious southern ed in chief
Monday, February 07, 2005
Ahh, the first day of blogging
Hello, hello. I'm going to send out a mass email in a bit, telling everyone of the joy of my blog, which I'm sure only three people will come to. But whatever. My boss, the lovely CGD, is out to another two-hour lunch... and I barely had anything to do in the first place. So this is a good opportunity for me to kill time and look like I'm accomplishing something, which I'm not. (Other than creating an outlet for times like this.)
Okay, so this is not going to be like Fox's broadcast of the Super Bowl (completely G rated) nor is it going to be as tasteless as some of their other programming. It's going to be like a mixture of THE OC and THE SIMPLE LIFE, I think. And maybe I'll be the only one paying attention, but whatever. If it makes me feel better without costing any money, I'm happy.
SO. I sent out ten rejections today. SCORE SO FAR: 10 to me, 2 to them. "Them" of course is the general karmatic world who sent me Todd & Adam, two men who in their attempt to be honest with me, hurt my feelings. But in a good, "I'm going to sob for two days then break out the Chaka Khan" way. And then I made out with somebody else's boyfriend, which always makes me feel good. I know, sick and wrong, but it's a pattern. I can't help if God sends desperate lonely souls to me (hence, Todd & Adam).
Really, both Todd & Adam are good guys. Adam, as most of you know, is just Adam. Unreliable, selfish, and drunk more often than not. But also cute - why I'm not sure. Todd is easier to describe - picture an engineer. An Irish engineer. Got it? Okay that's him. Except its not (which is the best thing about him, as far as I'm concerned.) Why am I flattering my ex, again? Oh yeah, because he's probably one of the few people who will take the time to read the blog.
Okay then. Now that I've said lots of things I shouldn't I should see how this all looks before CGD returns and we have to sit down and go over whatever crap the British publishing industry has slopped together on a Mac for us to look at and reject quicker than you can say "hiya".
Okay, so this is not going to be like Fox's broadcast of the Super Bowl (completely G rated) nor is it going to be as tasteless as some of their other programming. It's going to be like a mixture of THE OC and THE SIMPLE LIFE, I think. And maybe I'll be the only one paying attention, but whatever. If it makes me feel better without costing any money, I'm happy.
SO. I sent out ten rejections today. SCORE SO FAR: 10 to me, 2 to them. "Them" of course is the general karmatic world who sent me Todd & Adam, two men who in their attempt to be honest with me, hurt my feelings. But in a good, "I'm going to sob for two days then break out the Chaka Khan" way. And then I made out with somebody else's boyfriend, which always makes me feel good. I know, sick and wrong, but it's a pattern. I can't help if God sends desperate lonely souls to me (hence, Todd & Adam).
Really, both Todd & Adam are good guys. Adam, as most of you know, is just Adam. Unreliable, selfish, and drunk more often than not. But also cute - why I'm not sure. Todd is easier to describe - picture an engineer. An Irish engineer. Got it? Okay that's him. Except its not (which is the best thing about him, as far as I'm concerned.) Why am I flattering my ex, again? Oh yeah, because he's probably one of the few people who will take the time to read the blog.
Okay then. Now that I've said lots of things I shouldn't I should see how this all looks before CGD returns and we have to sit down and go over whatever crap the British publishing industry has slopped together on a Mac for us to look at and reject quicker than you can say "hiya".
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