Nothin' About Love Makes Sense

I've had two epiphanies over the last week:

#1: I don't like when my female friends have boyfriends. Somehow I'm irritated by it. I don't know if its because I don't have one, if I have less time with them because of it (which is usually the case) or if its because one of "the clan" is being converted, but when it gets serious, I get pissy. Particularly if I personally thought she was going to be single for a while.

#2: I am apparently, not the girl that takes advantages of opportunities to have sex anymore. I used to be; now I think (gasp) that I feel sex without feeling is a bit shallow and frankly, not worth the hassle. Unless the guy is Adam Brody, of course.

What brought me to these conclusions was that my roommate called me out on not liking her boyfriend. Which is true. I don't particularly care for him, but that's because he gives me that ishy, I-don't-trust-you gut feeling. Which may be because HE'S not comfortable around me, but still. Let's just say that I'll never relax around the kid, nor will I be too happy about him being in my apartment without me or roomie being here. I am glad she's happy, but there's so much Drama (and I capitalize that for a reason) that it sometimes stresses me out. And, with the boss I have now, I don't need any more unnecessary kvetching in my day.

The other conclusion has to do with last weekend. I met an amazingly hot Irishman (see the pic below; he's on the right). He was nice to me, flirty, and with the exception of ditching out on my bar party for a couple hours----to help a friend, supposedly---he was fine. I could have had sex with him, very easily. Did I? No.... I blamed my period. Which I didn't have.


To confuse the situation even more, Berger came to my "close friends" dinner on Friday with roomie, Mishy & Mikey and made an ass out of himself. I was already mad at him for not showing up at my bar party Saturday (my friends should know I LIVE for gatherings celebrating how many friends Ihave) and then to make matters worse, he got up after we had ordered and went outside to have a cigarette (how rude! Who can't wait 20 minutes???) and I was truly embarassed and pissed when we left the restaurant for the subway because he and roomie were talking about something and completely ignoring me. On my birthday. But since they can both get caught up and not realize it,I just accepted it and called them assholes in my head.

By the time we got on the subway, we were fine. Berger suggested drinks on him at our local watering hole, so he and I went and had a nice time talking. Apparently he had ditched out on me because he had a really long drinking talk starting at 3pm with his major ex. I only accepted his apology because he said it twice. We had a couple drinks and a nice talk and when the outside seating at the bar closed we sat on some stairs near my apartment. We kissed and he offered to come up, spend the night and "hold me" - which I knew was true, he wouldn't try anything.

But, just like Billy, I said no.

The next day when I was driving out to Cape May, I thought about it. Since I've actually gotten over Todd (and I'm over Berger as well, something roommate helpfully pointed out) I'm not in the place to settle anymore.

It was a giant light bulb. I didn't want to be a notch on the Irishman's belt just to get laid on my birthday, because that wouldn't neutralize what Todd did to me on my last birthday. And I didn't want to compromise the line I've drawn with Berger.

But then love threw me a bit of a curveball. I went for drinks with an acquaintance, Sam, who I met through my friend Jenni. There was sexual tension when we met forever and a day ago (I think it was over the winter) and I sent him a text about my bar party. He didn't make it down although he really tried (and sent me continual text messages about him trying) so we agreed to meet for drinks last night.

He wasn't quite what I remembered (He has quite the unibrow, and he's a little plumper than I thought, but a good body could have been disguised by a baggy linen shirt. But he bought me drinks and dinner and it was lovely. I think I might have screwed it up by not kissing him at the end of the night when he walked me to the train but I like this a lot. I like the promise of a slow build. When I said that he was entering date territory when we went to dinner he asked how I felt about that and I shrugged. I said, what about you? He said, "I'm neutral".

So maybe its more the chase, but Sam is such a departure from the guys I try to date (his parents are from Lebanon, he's 23 and fresh out of college - so younger than me and 10 years younger than Berger and has crooked teeth) that I'm starting to think it could be good for me.

I'll stick my toe in the water, start walking along the beach. And the next thing you know I'll be standing in my bikini letting the waves knock me on my ass like I did at Cape May.

The dolphins were a good audience, so why wouldn't Sam be? Or you, my dear readers. Sorry for the delay.