No Financial Times for You

I'm getting really sick of not having the Internet at home... and at work, I'm starting to get more responsibility which means that they may be watching what I do online... more carefully. So I'm attempting to be more careful, especially after the not-consensual personnel exodus that was last week here.

So I contacted Todd. I know, I know..... a very STUPID move to open up Pandora's Exboyfriend-you're-still-not-over file. But I am getting over him. With emails like this (from him), who couldn't?

• I feel I'm one of those people that should have gotten married at 21 or 22 without really a choice.
• My Mother always said if you don't love somebody, fake it and then eventually you just will.
• My problem right now is that I haven't really thought about it because all I have been doing is working.

(glad you're heartbroken and worried how I'm doing too.)

I also don't mind you calling me an asshole because I deserve it.

And this, finally, brings a smile to my face.

I know I'm being a bitch, posting personal emails on a blog. But at this point, I really don't give a flying fuck what he thinks of me. Because I'm a mature person (okay, maybe not necessarily about this...) and frankly, my dear I don't give a damn.

And another priceless jewel from Toddy Todd:

At this point I just don't know, you like to ask the hard questions but I just don't have the answers.

I'll probably die a bitter old man that beats hookers.

Amen to that! By the way, I don't think he's ever known the answers. I guess I should have realized that six months ago and spared myself some nights listening to "All Cried Out".

Other than the Todd emailing, I went on a couple dates with David.. and then he stopped calling and texting. I was briefly a stalker (1 call on Friday to tease him about the Yanks losing to Boston 17-1, 2 on Saturday to see what he was up to, and an email on Monday to see if he was okay) but since I've gone sans answers, I'm giving up. So much for my hope to see the missing testicle (he had testicular cancer and lost one.....)

Either way, I'm okay. I might continue to deface Todd in an effort to feel better.