My Turkey's in Jersey

I was on the phone last night with Ryan (who's visiting on Tuesday, his first time to any city bigger than Minneapolis), who is my BEST guy friend and has been in love with me since he was 14 and I was 16 (he's 22 and I'm 24 now). Who knows if he still is in love with me, but the devotion is there despite that we've gotten to the point where we can talk about dating other people amongst other things, like fucking around and how his friends with benefits is getting out of line.

I was recapping the weekend and said to him, "I've never been like this about anyone else the way I am about Todd, have I?" And he said..... yes, definitely. And then we discussed if Todd just wants to be friends how I'm going to handle that, and I essentially said if he could do it, I could do it.

But my question is.. can I? I was obsessing over why T hadn't emailed me back, and it was because he didn't get my email. Duh. But my question is... if we will be "just friends" for the rest of our lives (which to me is better than nothing), will I be in love with him for the rest of my life?

I know I should just change the blog's title to "Meg Talks About Todd" but I a) can't help my obsessions, b) can't blog about work without getting fired and c) nothing else is happening other than my law paper being due and my turkey being in Jersey.