Ruminations

I have lots of witty things to say; at work, when I first get home; but by the time I can actually sit down here I don't have anything to say.

Other than that I officially FREAKED out last weekend. Particularly yesterday, when I realized:
a) in my drunken cowgirl stupor I had lost my favorite Coach wallet Amanda got me which was the first and only thing I EVER got in a little brown bag from Bloomie's that was more important to me than I care to admit
b) I am forever scarred by the love that was Pagliarulo and
c) there is a good chance that I will screw up the chris/meg connection somehow, knowingly and unknowning... and
d) that I'm completely going to expose myself to the Mac kid (Chris) and will probably end up listening to depressing Alison Krauss songs for another six months until someone breaks my heart

But then I remembered I still have:
a) my passport so I can get into bars and I have money to buy something ridiculously expensive to replace the self worth I had from the Coach Wallet
b) that Jackie likes Chris more than Todd (and Michelle said that she never thought Todd was right for me
c) that I really can't control what happens in my love life
d) Since hypocrasy is one of my pet peeves I can't back out of what I've been lecturing everyone about for years that its better to love and lose than not take the risk of finding someone who will get you and Chris is probably deserving of the risk

So here I go.. walletless and spending more time than I'd care to admit thinking about a dorky arts kid on the East Side.